please check this for me he is my rough draft (again)
Please check this for me thank you very much :)
There are on- going problems that need to be addressed at the DMD company. First there is uneven allocation of tasks. While Bonnie and Molly are working overtime at least twice a month, Jack and Rachel often have no work to do. This causes friction between the workers. Second, Melanie and Jessica share an administrative assistant who does most of their work for them. Third, Larry's assistant can not get all his work done in the 15 hours that he works
I do not think that the company is working as well as it can and would like to offer some suggestions.
Jack and Rachel could help Bonnie and Molly. To be successful the company needs teamwork. Jessica and Melanie should do more of their own work, freeing up their administrative assistant to help others. If Larry's assistant is unable to work more than 15 hours, perhaps he should be replaced by someone who can do so. Is he in fact able to work more hours?
There are 125 employees in the company. Some could be trained to help our group out when we are extremely busy and they are not. A full time administrative assistant could help Samuel and Frank Daly who have no assistant.
Additional suggestions that I have rejected after much thought include hiring from Tina's Temp Agency, which is only a quick fix, and cutting back on employees' paid vacation time, which might cause them to not work as hard.
I have spent over 30 years working with the public including the 10 years I have been working with this company. In all this time I have never seen a company operate so poorly. The uneven productivity has had a negative impact on the company. The company will start to lose their clients. If the problem isn’t fixed soon the company will continue to make a bad name for itself. This company has been is business for 50 years and we have several clients that have been using this company for at least 15 years. The employees' morale is getting quite low. This may cause some employees to quit which would not help
The DMD’s finances are slowly sinking. This has been going on for over a month, which is way to long. If you hire extra help that would improve the stress level that all lot of the employee’s feel. If the employees did not feel stressed they would do better at their jobs which would increase company morale.
ok I am a bit on confused for this lesson I have to do prewriting. That is the same as Brain storming right ?
(which I beleive I did already)
Drafting I just did
Next is revising so do I take the rough draft and revise it like this
There are on- going problems that need to be addressed at the DMD company. First there is uneven allocation of tasks. While Bonnie and Molly are working overtime at least twice a month, Jack and Rachel often have no work to do. This causes friction between the workers. There is always some kind of yelling going on between the workers. Second, Melanie and Jessica share an administrative assistant who does most of their work for them. Third, Larry's assistant can not get all his work done in the 15 hours that he works
I do not think that the company is working as well as it can and would like to offer some suggestions.
Jack and Rachel could help Bonnie and Molly. Not only would this help the productivity of the office but it will be a more peaceful place to work. To be successful the company needs teamwork without team work we have nothing. Jessica and Melanie should do more of their own work, freeing up their administrative assistant to help others. If Larry's assistant is unable to work more than 15 hours, perhaps he should be replaced by someone who can do so There are 125 employees in the company. Some of the employee's in the other office could be trained to help our group out when we are extremely busy and they are not. A full time administrative assistant could help Samuel and Frank Daly who have no assistant. Additional suggestions that I have rejected after much thought include hiring from Tina's Temp Agency, which is only a quick fix, and cutting back on employees' paid vacation time, which might cause them to not work as hard.
I have spent over 30 years working with the public including the 10 years I have been working with this company. In all this time I have never seen a company operate so poorly. The uneven productivity has had a negative impact on the company. The company will start to lose their clients. If the problem isn’t fixed soon the company will continue to make a bad name for itself. This company has been is business for 50 years and we have several clients that have been using this company for at least 15 years. The employees' morale is getting quite low. This may cause some employees to quit which would not help
The DMD’s finances are slowly sinking. This has been going on for over a month, which is way to long. If you hire extra help that would improve the stress level that all lot of the employee’s feel. If the employees did not feel stressed they would do better at their jobs which would increase company morale. Thank you for allowing the time to talk to you regaurding these important issues. If we all work together I believe that DMD will be here for another 50 years
You're on the right track, yes.
Now keep going over the second draft to catch things that need correcting, such as spacing, periods, spelling, etc.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/proofing.htm
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Yes, prewriting is similar to brainstorming. It is the process of generating ideas and organizing them before starting to write. It helps to gather thoughts, brainstorm different angles or approaches, and create an outline or plan for the writing. Based on your description, it seems like you have already gone through the prewriting stage and have created a rough draft.
Next, you mentioned revising, which is the process of making changes to your rough draft to improve clarity, coherence, and overall effectiveness. It involves reviewing your writing, identifying areas that need improvement, and making necessary edits.
In your case, it seems like you have already revised your rough draft by making some changes to the content and rephrasing certain sentences to enhance clarity and coherence. This is a good approach to revising. Make sure to read through your draft, check for any errors or inconsistencies, and make further improvements if necessary.
After revising, the next step would be editing, which involves checking for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and other language and mechanics-related issues. Review your revised draft for any errors and make sure it is polished and error-free.
Once you have completed the editing stage, your final step is to proofread your writing. Proofreading involves carefully reading your revised and edited draft to ensure that it is free from any remaining errors or typos. It is important to take the time to proofread your work before finalizing it.
In summary, the writing process typically involves prewriting (brainstorming), drafting, revising, editing, and proofreading. You have already gone through the prewriting and drafting stages, and you have made revisions to your rough draft. The next steps would be editing and proofreading to ensure your final draft is clear, coherent, and error-free.