English

Can someone please help me proof read my paper and help me to know where my errors are and how I can better this paper? Is this good for a descriptive essay? Is their something I should elaborate more or less on? Are my paragraphs ok or do I need to shorten them? Any and all assistance would be greatly appreciated.

I was able to bring down my word count to 731 words.

The Cover

Approximately one percent of the United States population is currently serving in the Military. I am proud to be part of that one percent. Our mission is to protect and serve the American people from all enemies foreign and domestic. There are five different branches: The Army, Air Force, Navy, Marine Corp, and the Coast Guard. One thing all branches of the military have in common is their uniform. Although, each branch has their own version of the uniform, it unifies us and helps to identify which branch of service a person is affiliated with. I am currently serving in the Army. We have four main components to our uniform: The cover, coat, pants and boots. My favorite component is the cover.

A hat or baseball cap, commonly referred to in the military as a cover or patrol cap, is an item of clothing that must be worn with the uniform, when you are not in a building or structure that is covered by three sides. A cover is made up of fifty percent cotton and fifty percent nylon material; a thick material that feels coarse and sleek on the skin, not a material I would try and blow my nose with. A blend of tan, grey, and foliage green colors, digitized together make up its pattern; which has the ability to help a person blend into various environments such as the desert, woodland and urban. It is a type of camouflage. The fabric is double layered to help maintain its shape. Three inches of material makes up the height of the cover. An additional one inch piece of material is sown around the bottom of the cover. The top of the cover is a solid piece of fabric that covers the entire top of the patrol cap. It is emphasized by a seam that connects it to the rest of the cover. Inside the cover is another additional solid piece of fabric that connects to the same seam as the top of the cover. However, there is a one inch gap from the back of the inside of the patrol cap creating a hidden pocket. There are two distinctive seams sown on the cover; one is vertically centered on the front of the cover, while the other is vertically centered on the back. The seam starts from the additional piece of fabric and continues until it reaches the seam that connects to the top of the cover. The front of that seam is used to be able to sew a soldier’s rank insignia on the front. A five-by-one inch piece of Velcro is centered underneath the bottom on the back vertical seam; this is where a soldier’s last name would be located on the cover. The “visor” of the cover takes up about forty-three percent of the circumference of the cover; protruding about two inches away from the head. While it uses the same material as the rest of the cover, it is the thickest part of the cover. It feels as if there is a hard yet bendable piece of cardboard inside.

It comes in many different sizes, starting as six and a half, up to seven and five-eighths. It goes up in an eighth of an inch increment. I wear a size seven. The cover should fit snug on the thickest part of the head, but not so tight that it starts to cut off circulation or leave a mark on the forehead. It should sit approximately one inch above the eye brows and parallel to the ground when standing straight up while looking forward. The top of the cover should not sag in anyway; it should appear to have clean crisp angles from all directions. The visor should be slightly curved just enough to block out the sun.

The cover can be worn as protection from the elements such as the sun, rain and cold. While outside in the cold a cover allows heat to be retained. I love the patrol cap because it helped me learn the exact height that is needed to conduct a proper salute, a custom and courtesy every soldier must know and execute properly. As an enlisted soldier we are taught to salute all officers, the flag and the dearest to my heart, fallen comrades, as a final act of respect and thanks for the cost they have paid for my freedom.

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asked by Sandy
  1. ... each branch has its own ...

    Get rid of all instances of "you" -- those sentences will need to be rephrased.

    Semicolons are used primarily to separate independent clauses. When a semicolon is used incorrectly, it can most often be corrected by replacing it with a comma.

    ... starting at six and ...

    Everything else reads fine!

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