Look at the following sentences, which use the passive voice. Then rewrite each sentence in the active voice, and decide which version you prefer and why.
1. Mistakes were made.
a. I made mistakes.
2. Musical legends such as Ray Charles, Billie Holiday, and Johnny Cash have all influenced Norah Jones.
a. Musical legends such as Ray Charles, Billie Holiday, and Johnny influenced Norah Jones.
3. Numerous reports of loud music from bars and shouting neighbors were taken by the city’s new noise complaints hotline.
a. The city’s new noise complaints hotline took numerous reports of loud music from bars and shouting neighbors.
4. The Violin solo was performed by an eight-year-old.
a. An eight-year-old performed the Violin solo.
5. In a patient with celiac disease, intestinal damage can be caused by the body’s immunological response to gluten.
a. A body’s immunological response to gluten can cause intestinal damage in a patient with celiac disease.
Which version do I prefer and why.
a. I prefer active voice because it is concise and to the point; plus it flows/sounds better.
Combine each of the following sets of sentences into one sentence that uses sub-ordination to signal the relationship among ideas.
1. The original Star Trek television show ran from 1966 to 1969.
It was critically acclaimed.
It had low ratings and was canceled by the network.
a. The original Star Trek Television show which ran from 1966 to 1969 was critically acclaimed but was canceled by the network because it had low ratings.
2. Athena was the goddess of wisdom.
Ancient Greeks relied on Athena to protect the city of Athens.
Athens was named in Athena’s honor.
a. Athena, the goddess of wisdom, was relied on by the Ancient Greeks to protect the city of Athens, which was named in her honor.
3. Harry Potter is a fictional wizard.
He turns eleven years old.
He is taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
a. When Harry Potter, a fictional wizard, turns eleven-years-old, he is taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
4. Flappers seemed rebellious to their parents’ generation.
They broke the 1920s social conventions.
They cut their hair short and smoked in public.
a. Flappers, who broke with 1920s social conventions by cutting their hair short and smoking in public, seemed rebellious to their parents’ generation.
5. Skateboarding originated in Venice, California.
The time was the mid-seventies.
There was a drought.
The swimming pools were empty.
a. In the mid-seventies, skateboarding originated in Venice, California, where, because of a drought, the swimming pools were empty.
Can someone please check my work and let me know if I am getting anything wrong?
Look at the following sentences, which use the passive voice. [Not all these sentences are in passive voice! Then rewrite each sentence in the active voice, and decide which version you prefer and why.
1. Mistakes were made.
a. I made mistakes. I agree.
2. Musical legends such as Ray Charles, Billie Holiday, and Johnny Cash have all influenced Norah Jones.
a. Musical legends such as Ray Charles, Billie Holiday, and Johnny influenced Norah Jones. The original is fine ... there's no passive there.
3. Numerous reports of loud music from bars and shouting neighbors were taken by the city’s new noise complaints hotline.
a. The city’s new noise complaints hotline took numerous reports of loud music from bars and shouting neighbors. I agree, even though it's an awkward sentence.
4. The Violin solo was performed by an eight-year-old.
a. An eight-year-old performed the violin solo. I agree.
5. In a patient with celiac disease, intestinal damage can be caused by the body’s immunological response to gluten.
a. A body’s immunological response to gluten can cause intestinal damage in a patient with celiac disease. I agree.
Which version do I prefer and why.
a. I prefer active voice because it is concise and to the point; plus it flows/sounds better. Good.
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Combine each of the following sets of sentences into one sentence that uses sub-ordination to signal the relationship among ideas.
1. The original Star Trek television show ran from 1966 to 1969.
It was critically acclaimed.
It had low ratings and was canceled by the network.
a. The original Star Trek Television show which ran from 1966 to 1969 was critically acclaimed but was canceled by the network because it had low ratings. Three commas are needed, but the wording is okay.
2. Athena was the goddess of wisdom.
Ancient Greeks relied on Athena to protect the city of Athens.
Athens was named in Athena’s honor.
a. Athena, the goddess of wisdom, was relied on by the Ancient Greeks to protect the city of Athens, which was named in her honor. You wrote this in passive voice. How can you revise it so it's written in active voice (which you said above that you prefer!!
3. Harry Potter is a fictional wizard.
He turns eleven years old.
He is taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
a. When Harry Potter, a fictional wizard, turns eleven-years-old, he is taken to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Again, this is in passive voice. Also, the hyphens are not needed.
4. Flappers seemed rebellious to their parents’ generation.
They broke the 1920s social conventions.
They cut their hair short and smoked in public.
a. Flappers, who broke with 1920s social conventions by cutting their hair short and smoking in public, seemed rebellious to their parents’ generation. I agree, even though it could be worded a bit more simply.
5. Skateboarding originated in Venice, California.
The time was the mid-seventies.
There was a drought.
The swimming pools were empty.
a. In the mid-seventies, skateboarding originated in Venice, California, where, because of a drought, the swimming pools were empty. I agree.