Revise the following paragraph until you can answer yes to each of the questions listed below. After you are finished, copy the revised paragraph in the space provided
1. Does the paragraph have a clear purpose, and does each sentence contribute to that purpose?
2. Is every word and sentence appropriate for the intended audience?
3. Does the topic sentence state the main idea directly, without being too broad or too narrow?
Revision also involves a careful look at the development of the paragraph. Work on your first draft until you can answer yes to each of the following questions.
1. Are there enough details, facts, examples, or reasons to support the main idea, and are these the strongest possible ones?
2. Have any sentences that merely repeat the main idea instead of developing it been eliminated?
3. Is the method of organization the best possible one?
4. Is the paragraph coherent--that is, are the sentences clearly and logically connected to one another through the use of repeated words and synonyms, pronouns, and transitions?
Many names for groups are quite interesting. Group names were commonly used at one time. Now only a few of them are ubiquitous, such as "a pride of lions" or "a school of fish." Yet some of the group names are very really neat in describing; try, for instance, "a clutter of cats," "a cry of hounds," or "a knot of toads." Other names hitch onto what the animal is like: "a charm of goldfinches," "a skulk of foxes," or "an exaltation of larks." Finally, there are names that have no obvious meaning, such as "a gam of whales" or "a grist of bees." I used to know even more of these unusual names. All of these names lend variety to the language.
Many group names are interesting and used to be commonly used. However, now only a few, such as "a pride of lions" or "a school of fish," are widely known. Nevertheless, there are still some group names that are truly captivating. For example, consider "a clutter of cats," "a cry of hounds," or "a knot of toads," which vividly describe their respective animals. On the other hand, some group names capture the characteristics of the animal itself, like "a charm of goldfinches," "a skulk of foxes," or "an exaltation of larks." Additionally, there are names that have no obvious meaning, such as "a gam of whales" or "a grist of bees." I used to be familiar with even more of these unique names. All in all, these names add variety to our language.
1. Yes, the paragraph has a clear purpose, which is to discuss interesting group names.
2. Yes, every word and sentence is appropriate for the intended audience.
3. Yes, the topic sentence states the main idea directly without being overly broad or narrow.
Now let's review the development of the paragraph:
1. Yes, there are enough details, facts, examples, and reasons to support the main idea of interesting group names.
2. Yes, any sentences that merely repeat the main idea have been eliminated.
3. Yes, the method of organization seems appropriate for discussing different types of group names.
4. Yes, the paragraph is coherent, with sentences clearly and logically connected through the use of repeated words, synonyms, pronouns, and transitions.
So here is the revised paragraph:
Many group names are interesting and used to be commonly used. However, now only a few, such as "a pride of lions" or "a school of fish," are widely known. Nevertheless, there are still some group names that are truly captivating. For example, consider "a clutter of cats," "a cry of hounds," or "a knot of toads," which vividly describe their respective animals. On the other hand, some group names capture the characteristics of the animal itself, like "a charm of goldfinches," "a skulk of foxes," or "an exaltation of larks." Additionally, there are names that have no obvious meaning, such as "a gam of whales" or "a grist of bees." I used to be familiar with even more of these unique names. All in all, these names add variety to our language.