history civilization thesis help.

The agricultural revolution marked a decisive turning point in human history. What evidence might you offer to support this claim, and how might you argue against it?

That's the essay question. I'm in college so i'm expected to give a really good essay but i . below is a introduction i wrote. can you please read it and give me constructive criticism. the thesis is the last sentence. Is the thesis good enough or should i work on it more?

The agricultural revolution is known as one of the great milestones to exist in human development. It can be defined as a gradual change from our ancestors of the Stone Age and Paleolithic Era who focused more on hunting and gathering for food and survival to instead emphasizing more on the production of food. Over time, as much as the agriculture revolution resulted in developing a more systematic way of living life for people, some groups did not follow the lead and were more comfortable living as hunters and gatherers. Being able to farm and produce their own food led people to an overall development of social, economic and political of the Mesopotamian Civilization, but it can also be argued that the transition to farming took some values from our ancestors we can’t have again.

i had trouble wording the thesis? is it run on or is there a simple way of saying it?

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  1. I can't judge your introduction without knowing the content of your paper.

    However, your thesis is too wordy; it should be shorter. In addition, I think you left a word out after "political."

    Study this site for recommendations about good thesis statements.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

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    Ms. Sue
  2. Consider developing the last clause of your thesis statement. How did the agricultural revolution take some values from our ancestors? Which values?

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    Ms. Sue
  3. Im doing this in middle school LOL it .... :(

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