Revision of second paragraph: "Liesure time is another one of my favorite things about summer. It brings me happiness beyond belief. It enables me to spend time with my family, to take part in the things they wish to do. It enables me to live life without the worry of schoolwork or the hours of exercise I haven't yet completed. This spare time ultimately brings life into perspective. It makes me realize what's truly important."

This doesn't make sense: " ... or the hours of exercise I haven't yet completed."

Should I remove this part of the sentence or revise it?

I'd just delete it. It's somewhat redundant.

Revision of the second paragraph:

"Leisure time is another aspect of summer that I absolutely love. It fills me with an incredible sense of joy and contentment. It gives me the opportunity to spend quality time with my family and engage in activities that they enjoy. It allows me to live without the burden of schoolwork or the pressure to complete my daily exercise routine. This free time really puts things into perspective for me and helps me appreciate what truly matters in life."