Biographical Essay Evaluation (Writeacher)

Revision of the second paragraph: "Leisure time is another one of my favorite things about summer. It brings me happiness beyond belief. It enables me to spend time with my family, to take part in the things they wish to do. It enables me to live life without the worry of schoolwork or the hours of exercise I haven’t yet performed. This spare time brings life into perspective. It ultimately makes me realize what’s truly important."

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  1. Cut out extraneous words ... same for paragraph 3. Then turn it all in.

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