I wrote a DBQ on the industrial revolution, this is part of it:
During the Industrial Revolution, the upper class lived without struggle, yet the working class suffered endlessly through dangerous working conditions. This demonstrates the impact Industrialization had on the social lives of people.
My teacher wanted me to use a more sophisticated phrase other than "this demonstrates", how do I fix that?
These rigid class distinctions were solidified by industrialization.
To make your statement more sophisticated, you can consider using alternative phrases that convey a similar meaning. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Illustrates the ramifications: "The stark contrast between the affluent lifestyles of the upper class and the ceaseless hardships endured by the working class vividly illustrates the far-reaching ramifications of Industrialization on people's social lives."
2. Exhibits the effects: "The blatant disparity in living conditions between the privileged upper class and the toiling working class exhibits the profound effects of Industrialization on the social fabric of society."
3. Portrays the implications: "The portrayal of the upper class enjoying a life devoid of struggle, juxtaposed with the perpetual suffering of the working class, vividly portrays the profound implications of Industrialization on the social lives of individuals."
Remember, sophistication in writing often comes from using a wide range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures.