can someone edit this?
Throughout my life’s journey, I have come to attain two true passions - the first one being English studies. Since the very dawn of childhood, I have been known to bleed the calligraphic content of Gary Soto's brilliant poetry and breathe the splendor of scholastic literature. From my early fascination with creating novels as a toddler to spending much of my free time immersing myself into the creative depths of novels as a young adolescent, English has partaken itself as a prominent part of my imminent being. I am a writer and a reader, and always have been.
My second sentiment has been the result of tribulation and experience, as not all things come as easily in life. Through my most recent four year high school career, in particular, I have come to attain another true passion - assisting in the improvement of others' lives.
Freshman year for most is a time to cultivate oneself with a new beginning, and yet it served as the beginning of a ceaseless decline for me. During this period, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 Metastasis Cancer, and consequently much of my beginning of high school consisted of serving as her caretaker while the sadistic disease progressed. I had to take on responsibilities most people my age didn't have to, such as cooking meals, cleaning the house, washing clothes, giving her daily vaccines , and trying to keep my family life somewhat intact, all the while dealing with the daily stresses of school and academics. When my time was not zealously consumed with such responsibilities, I was waiting in hospitals during my mother's ritualistic visits to the emergency rooms, all of which I easily attended, since every visit could be the last. My GPA sank to a deplorable 2.0, as I couldn't focus in school, nor did I see any point in trying to improve my seemingly hopeless circumstances. Looking back now, I should have taken time off, as it would have greatly helped my well-being and GPA. However, I refused to strain my parents’ lives any further and could not bear to spend even more time watching my mother’s disease consume her torturously.
Sophomore year served as difficult as Freshman year, as my father’s disintegrating health following my mother’s death neglected to provide me a grace period after the loss of my mother. He acquired sugar shock following my mother's passing, and dropped down to one hundred pounds. Once again, I became the mandated to caretaker of another dilapidating parent.Halfway through my sophomore year, I realized that although mother's death was not my fault, it was certainly my problem, and I therefore had to take initiative and overcome it. I began to immerse myself in community service through activities such as Habitat for Humanity, where I have built homes for crippled and disabled veterans, Project Hope, where my youth group at church have supplied homeless citizens in New York with clothing and food during the cold winter months, and many other activities that have provided me with the opportunity to give back to my community.
It is wise to presume that one must choose a profession, a role that they will dedicate the rest of their lives to, to a felicitous fit for their values and beliefs, as one’s profession should be one’s true passion. I am fully confident that I will dedicate the furthering of my post college career to combining my two true passions - English and assisting in the advancement of others lives- into my future career as an English teacher. In ten years, I do not expect to be cosseted, doted upon, or famous. I do not expect to dedicate the rest of my life to a career that best benefits me through ease of work or a six figure salary. No- I expect to be serving children ten years after college graduation buy dedicating my life to being an English teacher. The effectuate life, the fulfilling life, is one that reams to the brim with the substance of passion, and I therefore am choosing to dedicate my life to the profession of being an English teacher, as it embodies everything that I have learned in life and who I am.
I don't think there's anyone here who will edit an entire paper for anyone else. However, read and study everything on the following linked webpages, follow all directions, and then let us know about any sentences or perhaps an individual paragraph about which you have questions.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/editing.htm
And make absolutely sure you have not used the wrong word where you meant another! Look up every single word you're not 100% sure of, for both meaning and part of speech!
imminent?
ritualistic?
effectuate?
(And those are only three!)
Throughout my life's journey, I have discovered two true passions. The first one is English studies, which has been a part of my identity since childhood. I have always been drawn to the beauty of Gary Soto's poetry and the world of literature. Whether it was creating my own stories as a toddler or immersing myself in novels as a young adolescent, I have always been a writer and a reader.
My second passion has been shaped by personal experiences and challenges. During my four years in high school, I discovered a deep desire to make a positive impact on others' lives. It all began in my freshman year when my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 Metastasis Cancer. As her caretaker, I took on responsibilities beyond my age, such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for her medical needs. Balancing these demands with my academic life was incredibly difficult. My GPA suffered, but at the time, I couldn't see any hope for improvement.
Sophomore year was equally challenging as I struggled to cope with the loss of my mother and my father's declining health. Despite these hardships, I realized that I had to take initiative to overcome the obstacles in my life. I decided to immerse myself in community service, engaging in projects like building homes for disabled veterans and providing aid for the homeless in my community.
I believe that choosing a profession means dedicating oneself to a role that aligns with their values and beliefs. For me, that role is an English teacher. I am confident in my ability to combine my love for English and my passion for helping others. In ten years, I envision myself not seeking personal comfort or fame, but rather devoted to serving children as an English teacher. To me, a fulfilling life is one that is driven by passion, and teaching embodies everything that I have learned and who I am.
In conclusion, this passage reflects someone's personal journey, struggles, and aspirations. To edit it, consider clarifying some sentences for better coherence and flow. Additionally, you could enhance the description of specific events to provide more context and emotional impact. Overall, it's important to maintain the authenticity and sincerity of the writer's voice while refining the language to make it more effective and concise.