English

`m writing a bio-poem. Is what I wrote below gramaticcaly correct? I`m not sure if the second part makes sense, the gallows part.

Who feels that he has been robbed of his faith in God and fellow human beings, exposed to the deepest inhumanity and that life has becomes as black as ‘Night’

Who fears that liberty has gone extinct, his family will cease to exist and that God is hanging from a gallows

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  1. If this is a poem, where are your line breaks?

    "becomes" in the first part should be "become" (subject-verb agreement)

    The gallows part doesn't make sense to me, but it might to others. It all depends on what you are trying to portray.

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  2. Thanks =)

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