Response Evaluation (Writeacher!)

This is the response I have written to the film The Sandlot. What do you think? Should I revise anything? What do you suggest?

Although it may be shamelessly derivative and overly nostalgic, I think the 1993 film The Sandlot, directed by David M. Evans, is a genuinely sweet and hilarious adventure that that takes place before a screen. With its tone and narration, this film ultimately brings fourth the inner child in many. An example of this is a statement by critic Roger Ebert. He said, in regards to one of the scenes, "There was a moment in the film when Rodriguez hit a line drive directly at the pitcher's mound, and I ducked and held up my mitt, and then I realized I didn't have a mitt, and it was then I also realized how completely this movie had seduced me with its memories of what really matters when you are 12." I, too, shared Ebert’s feelings when I watched this charming film. It made me feel as though I was reliving my own memories of my first, failed attempt at trying to learn how to hit the baseball properly.
In my opinion, another wonderful aspect of this film is that it can draw many potential viewers. Whether it is in the brief passing of the television or even a quick glance, it will no doubt capture anyone’s attention. It is also considered a wonderful “family” film. For example, according to several reviews by parents, The Sandlot is a great children’s film and is very family-friendly, unlike the majority of so-called "family" films that are made nowadays.
However, despite the fact that it is considered a "family movie" by many, I think that The Sandlot is not appropriate for children of certain ages. An example of this is when the young baseball players attend the amusement park while consuming an entire bag of chewing tobacco. I think that this scene in particular may intrigue young viewers who might not know what the boys are doing and encourage them to do the same. Furthermore, I think that the scene when one of the boys pretends to have drowned and kisses the lifeguard who attempts to perform CPR upon him is also inappropriate for young viewers because it, too, encourages such behavior. Even so, this is disregarded in many cases due to the fact that this is typically considered a young boy's behavior.
Overall, I thought that The Sandlot captured the innocence and joy of being young and playing baseball in a small town neighborhood. The film isn't absolutely perfect, but it has great atmosphere.

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  1. Overall, it's fine. Make sure the movie title is in italics each time you name it.
    ---------------
    Here are some things you need to fix though:

    The quotation marks in the first paragraph are used correctly.

    The quotation marks in the other paragraphs are not. Get rid of them.

    These make no sense to me:
    - shamelessly derivative
    - takes place before a screen
    - inner child in many
    - the brief passing of the television


    Get rid of "due to the fact that" (wordy and inaccurate) and insert "because" (not wordy; accurate).

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