please revise

Oligarchy, dominated Latin America’s political structure from 1900 to 1939. At the height of the European industrialization, Latin America became Europe’s main provider for raw materials. Mexico, for instance, provided Europe and North America with hemp, copper, and zinc. Hence, Latin American countries producing raw material in exchange for European manufactured goods, further, embedded the pattern of economic control by foreign countries.
Thus this pattern already established due to colonialism, continued and Latin America became more dependent on a foreign countries economy for its prosperity. This new economic order was reasonable and endorse by the growing dominance of liberal ideology in most parts of Latin America. It was this period that free trade political liberals who favored less centralized less state rule formed liberal parties, while the traditional agricultural interests and pro church conservatives formed conservative parties. Moreover, political leader and foreign counterpart glorified the intrinsic worth of free trade and open borders. This action was largely due to the ideological perspective of many Latin American political leaders, since it was viewed as abnormal to stand in the way of the economic and social progress that free trade would contribute to the prosperity of the state.

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asked by Christi
  1. Oligarchy, (NO COMMA) dominated Latin America’s political structure from 1900 to 1939. At the height of the European industrialization, Latin America became Europe’s main provider for raw materials. Mexico, for instance, provided Europe and North America with hemp, copper, and zinc. Hence, Latin American countries producing (CONTINUE TO USE PAST TENSE, "PRODUCED.")raw material in exchange for European manufactured goods, ("WHICH")further, (NO COMMA) embedded the pattern of economic control by foreign countries. (I AM CONFUSED. FROM YOUR DESCRIPTION, IT SEEMS LIKE A MUTUAL RELIANCE. THE US AND EUROPE RELY ON THE RAW MATERIALS, WHILE LATIN AMERICA RELIES ON THE MANUFACTURED GOODS. WHY DO YOU SEE THIS AS CONTROL ONLY IN ONE DIRECTION?)

    TO INDICATE NEW PARAGRAPH, EITHER INDENT OR SKIP A LINE.

    Thus this pattern already established due to colonialism, (DELETE "THUS" AND MOVE "THIS PATTERN" TO HERE.) continued (COMMA) and Latin America became more dependent on a foreign countries (SINGULAR OR PLURAL? EITHERWAY, MAKE IT A POSSESSIVE.) economy for its prosperity. This new economic order was reasonable and endorse by the growing dominance of liberal ideology in most parts of Latin America. It was this period that free(-)trade political liberals (COMMA) who favored less centralized less (DELETE SECOND "LESS.")state rule (COMMA) formed liberal parties, while the traditional agricultural interests and pro(-)church conservatives formed conservative parties. Moreover, political leader and foreign counterpart (SHOULDN'T THEY BE PLURAL?) glorified the intrinsic worth of free trade and open borders. This action was largely due to the ideological perspective of many Latin American political leaders, since it was viewed as abnormal to stand in the way of the economic and social progress that free trade would contribute (CAN DELETE FOLLOWING PHRASE TO BE MORE CONCISE.) to the prosperity of the state.

    In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

    If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

    Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

    I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.

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    posted by PsyDAG

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