What are your opinions? Have I written according to the topic I was give?
"Write an essay explaining in what ways people today are more fearful than people in past generations. You may use examples from real life, the selection you just read, books, movies, or television shows."
This is what I have written so far:
"Mass shootings are now an immense fear among society today as they have increased rapidly. Sources vary but some reports state that there have been 79 school shootings in the United States since the Columbine tragedy in 1999. For example, on December 14, 2012, Adam Lanza fatally shot twenty children and six staff members, a total of 26 people, in a mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the village of Sandy Hook in Newtown, Connecticut. This, of course, tightened security at public schools. As a result, more public schools are using a mix of strategies, from police to surveillance to armed teachers, in fear of similar tragedies to reoccur. This is the same for the mass shooting that occurred inside a Century movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, during a midnight screening of the film The Dark Knight Rises. After a gunman triggered tear gas grenades and shot into the audience at random, killing 12 people and injuring 70 others, midnight premieres no longer exists, which is ultimately another act of fear of such an horrific event to occur once again.
People are not only more fearful of violence, but also of emotional abuse, such as bullying, as it has become far more severe now than in past generations. For example, as a result of not only extreme bullying but also blackmail and physical assault, Amanda Michelle Todd, a young girl who resided with her parents and younger sister in Port Conquitlam, British Columbia, Canada, committed suicide on October 10, 2012 at the age of 15. But Amanda Todd isn't the only one who could no longer endure the relentless torture and cruelty she was faced with at every waking moment. In fact, the suicide rate has increased immensely in teens as an effect of bullying. Cyber-bullying, another form of bullying, has also been the cause of many suicides as well as suicide attempts. An example of this is found in the television film Cyber-bully, when Taylor Hillridge tries to commit suicide by overdosing with pills after being pegged with numerous insults as a result of acute cyber-bullying. Her mother, like many parents who have children who have been bullied and/or are suicidal as a result, throughout the entire movie, fears for both her daughter's mental stability and her life.
The loss of our jobs has also become another fear that haunts us more today than in any other generation. It's not as though the Great Depression wasn't something to fear in the early 1930s and middle 1940s, but today's economy is certainly very difficult to survive in without one. For example, those who were laid off gave up months or years of earnings, lost homes, went into debt, and now more often than not must take jobs for significantly less pay. As a result, many of these people have been unable to continue to live their comfortable lives. Many others have been rendered homeless, which brings about many other fears that our generation has only magnified.
What do you think?
What do I think?
I think you've plagiarized this essay, but I haven't found the source yet.
It's not remotely like anything you've posted on this essay for the last few days.
Yes, I know it isn't even remotely similar but I listened to Writeacher's advice and "started from scratch." I created an outline and followed it.
May I ask for your opinion?
Based on the given topic and prompt, it seems like you have written the essay according to the topic. You have provided examples, such as mass shootings, bullying, and job loss, to support the claim that people today are more fearful than people in past generations. Moreover, you have used real-life examples, as well as references to books, movies, and television shows, as instructed.
However, I would suggest a few improvements to make your essay more structured and coherent.
1. Introduction: Start with a clear thesis statement that states your main argument. For example, you could say, "In today's society, people experience heightened levels of fear due to increasing occurrences of mass shootings, severe bullying, and the uncertainty of job security."
2. Body paragraphs: It is important to have separate paragraphs for each point you make. This will help improve the clarity and organization of your essay. In your case, consider having three body paragraphs, each focused on one aspect of fear (mass shootings, bullying, job loss), and provide specific examples and evidence to support your claims.
3. Transition sentences: Include transition sentences at the end of each paragraph to smoothly connect your ideas and guide the reader through your essay. These sentences can act as a bridge to the next point you will discuss.
4. Conclusion: Summarize your main points and restate your thesis in a concise manner. You could also offer some final thoughts or suggestions for addressing these fears in today's society.
Overall, your essay touches on the main points required by the prompt and provides examples from real life, literature, and media. With a few structural improvements, your essay will effectively convey your arguments and support them with evidence.