Literature Essay (Writeacher)

I apologize, Writeacher, if I haven't reached your expectations yet but I am truly struggling to write this essay.

"I feel as though there is a far greater number of people today who are more fearful than those of past generations. Reasons for this can be drawn from multiple sources, such as daily news reports, newspapers, online articles, etc. I mean, who hasn't feared for the safety of others when informed of the local school lock-down that has been recently reported upon television? Or, perhaps, for the well-being of a loved one when he or she has been diagnosed with a live-threatening disease that has only recently been discovered, with no cure developed? The answer is no one. This is because people now fear more than they did then."

  1. 👍 0
  2. 👎 0
  3. 👁 117
  1. This is much better. I'd still make a few changes, but you have taken care of nearly all the wordiness! Congrats! It's not easy, I know.

    Why do you need to say "I feel..." or "I mean..." You're the one writing the paper, so it should be obvious to the reader that these are your beliefs, right?

    I'd replace "of past generations" with "in past generations."

    How will you turn this fragment into a complete sentence: "Or, perhaps, for the well-being of a loved one when he or she has been diagnosed with a live-threatening disease that has only recently been discovered, with no cure developed?"

    life-threatening (not live- )

    How can you combine the last two sentences into one so that it doesn't sound so choppy?

  2. "There is a far greater number of people today who are more fearful than those in past generations. Reasons for this can be drawn from multiple sources, such as daily news reports, newspapers, online articles, etc. I mean, who hasn't feared for the safety of others when informed of the local school lock-down that has been recently reported upon television? Who hasn't worried that, at some point, they may become a victim of bullying, or, perhaps, a victim due to the increase in local rapes? The answer is no one, because people in this present day fear more now than they did in the past."

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Victoria
  3. May I ask for your opinion?

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Victoria
  4. I could tell better if I could read your thesis statement, but so far I think this paragraph reads really well now! Nice!!

    In organizing your paper, the thesis statement's best position is at the end of your introduction ... and that paragraph eventually will precede this paragraph.

    Even if you think it's still in rough draft form, please post your thesis.

  5. I'll check in the morning.

  6. "People fear more now because there is more to be afraid of. Rapes, gangs, shootings; the lists seems endless. It's not like I think that people in past generations weren't faced with these fears. I do. But, I believe, along with the world, that these fears have evolved over time, now engrossed in our society, making them far more severe than those of the past."

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Victoria
  7. THIS is your thesis statement: People fear more now because there is more to be afraid of.

    The rest might become part of your intro (or not), but the sentence in italics above is the ONE SENTENCE that states your MAIN IDEA and your STANCE.

    Now read only that one sentence, and then your first internal paragraph. Will it read OK? Or will it be repetitive?

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. English

    Thank you very much, Writeacher. I left out the following sentences. 1) I still haven't got asleep even if it is almost 2 am. 2) I've already seen Almost Friends with my best friend. 3) I haven't visited the town museum yet. 4) I

    asked by Matthew on April 17, 2012
  2. Algebra 1

    Determine whether -4 is a solution to the inequality x > - 4 I apologize, I haven't slept all night doing my homework. Thank you so very much.

    asked by Esther on January 3, 2011
  3. English

    Posted by rfvv on Monday, August 25, 2014 at 4:45am. 1. It's been a long time. 2. It's been a while. 3. I haven't seen you for a while. 4. Long time no see. --------------- Are they all the same in meaning? Does 'a while' mean ' a

    asked by rfvv on September 19, 2015
  4. Art

    Thank you, Writeacher. Could you please check if everything is possible? 1) What does Pamela recount to her mum in letter XV? What does Mr B accuse her of and how does she apologize herself to him (or justify her behaviour)?

    asked by John on May 16, 2012
  5. English

    I left out a sentence. Thank you very much, Writeacher. I haven't had my chess lesson yet. I haven't done my chess lesson (is a mistake). Can you suggest a site with exercises on the use of modals to express degrees of

    asked by Matthew on April 19, 2012
  6. macroeconomics

    Which of the following theories of expectations holds that individuals use all information available in forming expectations? A. Rational expectations theory B. Certainty equivalent theory C. Expected value analysis D. Adaptive

    asked by carlos on June 26, 2012
  7. For Jishka Answerers

    This is not a homework question but for Ms.Sue Sra Mcgin drwl Dr.bob Guru Blue writeacher and any others i have 61 posts, 62 counting this one and I just wanted to ask do I annoy you guys sometimes? If so I apologize. It's just

    asked by mysterychicken on October 31, 2008
  8. Ms. Sue

    -NOT A QUESTION- I do apologize for giving everyone the answer today, however, I do not apologize for standing up for myself. Don't stop reading there. This IS a great website, and it's really helpful, I just have a short temper

    asked by Anonymous on November 30, 2017
  9. U.S. History (Help!)

    I read the website links that Writeacher provided, but I am still struggling to answer the question below. ): Why do you think canals were more common in the North than in other areas?

    asked by Victoria on September 17, 2015
  10. English

    I urgently need you to check these sentences on the present perfect. Thank you. 1) I've just come back from the studio where we were rehearsing/practising(exercising/training are mistakes?).Is "we practised" possible? 2) I still

    asked by Matthew on April 17, 2012

More Similar Questions