Can someone tell me if this sentence is ok? Or give suggestions on how I can make it better?
The students not only raised money during the walk-a-thon but continued to collect pledges three weeks afterward.
You could make it clearer by writing that they continued to collect pledges FOR three weeks after the event. As it is, did they wait three weeks to collect the pledges?
No, they collected them for three weeks after the event. Thanks for your help, Reed!
To determine if a sentence is grammatically correct or how to improve it, you can follow these steps:
1. Read the sentence aloud to check if it sounds natural and conveys your intended meaning.
2. Identify the main subject and verb in the sentence. In this case, the subject is "The students" and the verb is "raised."
3. Look for any potential errors or areas for improvement in terms of clarity, conciseness, or adding more specific information.
Based on these steps, let's evaluate your sentence:
"The students not only raised money during the walk-a-thon but continued to collect pledges three weeks afterward."
This sentence is grammatically correct and conveys the intended meaning. It also employs parallel structure to emphasize the two related actions of raising money and continuing to collect pledges.
However, if you would like suggestions to make it better:
1. Consider adding more vivid language or specific details to make the sentence more engaging. For example:
- "The students not only diligently raised funds during the exhilarating walk-a-thon but also tenaciously collected pledges for three consecutive weeks afterward."
2. Evaluate if there is any redundant information or wordiness. In your sentence, "continued to" might be unnecessary:
- "The students not only raised money during the walk-a-thon but also collected pledges three weeks afterward."
Remember, improving a sentence is subjective and depends on the style you want to convey. Use your judgment and consider the context in which the sentence will be used.