Correct my essay please!

posted by Wishwash

Should people judge children’s job choices?
By Rylie Demers
Job careers are talked about all throughout a child’s life, but should you try to judge their career choice and persuade them to another? There is no doubt that children are easily persuaded by other people around them and might have many dream jobs at a young age, but when they are older and finally choose one that they want to do, you shouldn’t step between that dream. The Huffington Post stated that “Just less than 30 percent of workers land their dream job, or work in some related field, according to a recent LinkedIn survey of about 8,000 professionals.” I think that some of this is caused by people shunning your choice of job and then finally giving up on it.
I think that you shouldn’t be able to stand in between their choice of a job because of your opinions on it. For the longest time, I wanted to work with video games and technology. Many people in my life did not support this idea and thought it was not a stable career. I was convinced that it was a stupid idea that I eventually gave up.
People always will try to look out for you. Some people in life might say that if you choose a job like that, I would regret it. You should know that if you do, you would have to be shot down and struggle before you will thrive. Sometimes you will need guidance from those who may not have supported you.
I have already picked a career that I want to do, but I know that some people will, like before, will not like it and shoot me down, but I won’t care because I love this career and it has been a great hobby of mine. Lots of people say that an art career is not a good career and said I will become a “starving” artist, but I will always have a backup plan until I get back on my feet. So I think you shouldn’t judge children’s job choices.

  1. Ms. Sue

    Rylie Demers wrote a fine essay. Are you Rylie Demers?

    What is the name of the art book you just published?

  2. Reed

    between a dream? How do you step between one thing?
    If you choose a job I'll regret it? I'll regret YOUR choice, or will you regret it?

    will, like before, will? "Will" is repeated.

    Will you get "back on your feet" or get up on them for the first time? Something knocked you down once you were on your feet?

    The essay is quite good, overall! The structure is fine, and your ideas ae clearly stated, except as noted.

  3. Wishwash

    Yes, i am Rylie! I did 't realize that I posted my name and I got worried that I freaking posted my name when I pasted my essay.

  4. Ms. Sue

    What's the name of your latest book?

  5. Wishwash

    I don't have an art book? If you don't believe me, which I would understand because this does seem like I am plagiarizing, I have no idea how to prove to you. I was just writing an essay for my online school.

  6. Ms. Sue

    Why should we believe you. There are several Google articles about Rylie Demers and her art book.

    https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=HHETWtb-NMKGjwSUqprIDw&q=Rylie+Demers+&oq=Rylie+Demers+&gs_l=psy-ab.3...3497.3497.0.5043.1.1.0.0.0.0.85.85.1.1.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.lRDFTsZJ1Vc

  7. ms suzie

    It is just wonderful

  8. Wishwash

    That is my wattpad. I even posted something about that.

    Spoopy-verse-rylie on wattpad.

  9. Ms. Sue

    OK.

  10. Wishwash

    @Ms suzie Thank you!

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