Please give feedback, im sorry this is so so long!
Many parents struggle to decide on whether they should send their child to a brick and mortar school or online school. For high school students, brick and mortar school is a better option than online school because it includes better learning strategies, mores opportunities for social interactions, and teachers measure students progress better.
First off, online school or as some will call it, virtual school is a school where students take classes entirely online. Online school is mostly aimed at independent students who are self-paced and are able to finish their work in no time. Usually students have access to teachers by calling or mailing them, and tools online to assist with their studies, but typically there’s limited interaction with teachers if any. Personally, I find some projects and tests in online school irrelevant. For example, the way we do chemistry labs is just sad, it’s typically done on a worksheet where you have the choice to actually do it or just copy the teacher/research it on google. Most of the students at online school don’t ever get to experience what’s it really like to do lab projects.
Secondly, traditional school is basically your district school. In brick and mortar school, the periods are longer and you interact much more with your peers and instructors.
Despite having a lot of free time and flexibility in online school, there’s just so much more to traditional school. It would be much harder making friends on online school, whereas public you have so many more opportunities. Plus my hobbies take place on the computer, so staying at school in the computer and doing hobbies on my computer everyday tires the eyes. There’s also more chances of students cheating online rather in brick and mortar school. In online school, you can’t guarantee if the student’s work is really his.You’d have to come up with creative ways in order to cheat in real life schools, unlike online whereas it’s quite easy. The way you work hard also differs. I feel like if you have a teacher right in front of you pushing you to finish work, it’s more better for someone who’s not so independent like myself.
In conclusion, choosing which school to send your child at can be tough, both brick and mortar school and online school have their own quirks and downfalls. For high school students, brick and mortar school is a better option than online school because it includes better learning strategies, mores opportunities for social interactions, and teachers measure students progress better. Online school is great, but you just have to be really independent and try making friends outside of school.
You make your arguments clearly, mostly. What do you mean, though, when you say online students can finish their work in "no time"? Do you mean on their own schedule, or easily, as in it takes "no time" to do the assignments?
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As you make revisions to your first draft, look for things like that where your reader might not understand what you mean. It makes sense to you, but might not to someone else.
Also check for grammar, as in use of commas, etc. I see several errors. For example, in the next to last paragraph, your topic sentence about a tough choice is a complex sentence. There should be a semi-colon before "both", not a comma. Better yet, make the two complete sentences stand alone as two sentences. Be self-critical. If I was your teacher, I'd take some "points" off for such things.
THANK YOU! I appreciate your criticism and you reading it all :) also, yes I meant in their own schedule
Your feedback is appreciated! Here are a few suggestions to improve the clarity and structure of your writing:
1. Focus on one idea per paragraph: Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and supporting details. This will help organize your thoughts and make your arguments stronger.
2. Provide specific examples: To strengthen your arguments, provide specific examples or evidence to support your statements. For instance, instead of stating that "chemistry labs in online school are sad," provide specific details about how they are conducted and why they may be less effective compared to traditional labs.
3. Use transitions: Transitions help guide the reader through your arguments and improve the flow of your writing. For instance, you can use transition words like "Firstly," "Secondly," or "In conclusion" to clearly connect your ideas and make your writing more coherent.
4. Proofread for grammar and punctuation: Before submitting your writing, make sure to proofread for any grammatical or punctuation errors. This will help ensure that your writing is clear and professional.
Overall, your points about the benefits of brick and mortar schools compared to online schools are clear. By implementing these suggestions, you can further strengthen your arguments and make your writing more effective.