Expository writing prompt:
Describe a family celebration that has special meaning for you.
Please give me some feedback.
Every year my uncle celebrates Christmas at his house. Unlike the common Christmas party where people hand out presents to other people, my family's Christmas party takes a different approach that has affected how I view Christmas. I view Christmas as not simply a time of gift-giving, but I view it as a time where my family and relative are actively participating with each other.
For Christmas, my uncle hands out a list of forty to fifty questions related to the Bible and the goal for all of us is to study them before the Christmas party. In a way, having to study the questions engages my family and links us closer together. For example, my sister and I would test each other and we would ask our mother and father to explain the questions, since all of them were in Vietnamese. Not only do the questions link my family together as we strive to study so that we can earn prizes in the form of presents, but they also link my sister and I closer to our native language.
On Christmas Day, all my relative and family members are tested and the act of sitting around in a circle and helping our family members when needed create a sense of teamwork. The game engages everyone together, both the elderly and the young. It was rare for the adults and youth to sit in a circle together and actually engage with each other, but this occasion creates an opportunity to do so.
All in all, my family's Christmas celebration gives me the opportunity to get closer with my family members my native language, and most importantly, it brings me closer to my relatives from a wide range of age. Everyone's active participation in the game and teamwork make my family's Christmas celebration unique and special to me.
Well done. (And what a lovely family tradition!)
Thank you, Reed!
very nice essay
that is a grate essay i loved it
Tanaye
Your description of the family celebration is clear and provides enough detail for the reader to understand the significance of the event to you. Here are a few suggestions for feedback:
1. Start with a strong opening sentence that immediately catches the reader's attention. This will draw them into your description from the beginning.
2. Consider expanding on the specific ways that studying the questions and playing the game has brought your family closer together. For example, you mentioned that studying the questions in your native language helped you and your sister reconnect with your roots. Adding more details about how these activities fostered teamwork and created opportunities for intergenerational bonding would enhance the reader's understanding of the celebration's impact.
3. Check for smooth transitions between your ideas. Make sure each paragraph flows into the next, building upon the previous information. This will create a cohesive and well-structured piece of writing.
Overall, your description effectively conveys the unique and special nature of your family's Christmas celebration. With a few tweaks and additions, it will be even stronger.