Below is one of my body paragraphs in my thesis paper and it would be really appreciated if I could get any further suggestions towards making it better.

In the essay, “The step not Taken” by Paul D’Angelo fear is the reason the main character was being reluctant to take action or getting involved. The essay talks about an incident that occurred between two strangers in an elevator, where one of the strangers being a man who just experienced a meltdown. Paul, himself, being the other stranger in the scenario had decided to do nothing to help the man who was crying. This decision of choosing to do nothing towards aiding the stranger in a time of distress is not an unusual reaction and behavior expressed by many individuals in an environment where fear is so prominent. Choices are made in fear of consequences that may reside in the actions of one’s doing, therefore leading to people having the idea that doing nothing is appropriate as Paul D’Angelo stated, “... I stepped out. I stood in the hallway, a bundle of mixed emotions, wondering what to do. A combination of guilt and uncertainty washed over me. Should I go up to the 15th floor and make sure he's okay? Should I search him out from office to office? Should I risk the embarrassment it might cause him?... I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing.” D’Angelo shows his thought process and the fear that resides in his mind when thinking about the consequences that may be in store for his actions. Thus opting to avoid them, for the sake of saving the embarrassment or discomfort that comes along with it.

I feel that in the beginning, I spent too much time on introducing the supporting essay and what it is about? Do you agree? Also was that a good way to end off a body paragraph in an essay? If there are any major grammar issue please tell me? Thank you.

In your body paragraph, you provide a clear introduction to the essay "The Step Not Taken" by Paul D'Angelo and summarize the main idea of the essay. The use of a quote from the essay to support your point is also effective. However, there are some suggestions to further improve your paragraph:

1. Instead of stating that fear is the reason the main character was reluctant to take action, consider directly quoting or paraphrasing the author's explanation of the main character's fear. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more direct link to the essay.

2. Consider using transition words or phrases to help the flow between sentences and ideas. For example, you could use phrases like "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Moreover" to connect your thoughts more smoothly.

3. To improve the structure, you may want to separate your paragraph into two parts. In the first part, introduce the essay and summarize the main idea. In the second part, focus on the analysis of fear as a reason for inaction. This will provide a clearer flow of ideas and make your point more effectively.

4. Instead of ending the paragraph with a direct quote, consider adding a sentence that explains the significance of the quote or connects it back to your main argument. This can help bring your paragraph to a more conclusive end.

Regarding your question about the introduction, it is not necessary to spend too much time on introducing the supporting essay. You can briefly mention the essay's title and author and provide a concise summary of the main idea to set the context.

In terms of grammar, your paragraph appears to be well written. However, one grammatical issue that should be addressed is the use of the phrase "choices are made in fear." Instead, it would be more grammatically correct to say "choices are made out of fear."

Overall, the paragraph is well-structured and effectively supports your argument with evidence from the essay. By implementing these suggestions, you can further enhance the clarity and coherence of your paragraph.