We have several beautiful places here in Busan. I would like to intorduce two of them.
One is Shinsege Department Store. Many people visit the department store to buy things. The sidewalks near the department store is crowded with people. There is a Starbucks coffee shop close to the department store. I have ever visited this coffee shop, which is full of customers.
The other is the Busan Cinema Center, where many kidns of movies are shown. We feel comfortable there and we can purchase drinks and popcorn. It is fantastic to watch a movie in this great place with close friends.
--------------------------
Would you check the passage?
We have several beautiful places here in Busan. I would like to introduce two of them. One is Shinsege Department Store which many people visit to buy clothing and other goods. The sidewalks near the department store are crowded with people. There is a Starbucks coffee shop close to the department store. I have often visited this coffee shop, which is full of customers.
The other is the Busan Cinema Center where many kinds of movies are shown. We feel comfortable there, and we can purchase drinks and popcorn. It is fantastic to watch a movie in this great place with close friends.
----------
I made a few corrections in both paragraphs. Be sure to compare yours with mine to find the differences. Let me know if you have questions.
Yours looks much better. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Sure! Here's a revised version of your passage:
We have several beautiful places here in Busan that I would like to introduce. One of them is Shinsegae Department Store, which is a popular destination for shoppers. The sidewalks near the department store are always crowded with people. Additionally, there is a Starbucks coffee shop located nearby that is always bustling with customers. I personally have visited this coffee shop and can attest to its popularity.
Another notable place in Busan is the Busan Cinema Center, a venue that offers a wide variety of movies. It's a comfortable place where you can enjoy a movie and also purchase drinks and popcorn. Watching a movie in this fantastic location with close friends is truly a great experience.