Read the following report of an accident that occurred near a busy intersection. Then write four or five sentences describe the incident from each of the indicated viewpoints.
The sixteen-year-old driver of a brand-new Toyota collided with a cement truck that was just pulling out of a McDonald's parking lot. It was 5:30 P.M. on a sultry August Fridag. Nearby, a young couple pushing strollers ambled down the street, and a boy struggled with two German shepherds straining at their leashes. From an apartment window high above the traffic jam, an elderly woman watched.
1. Omniscient
Dylan, the sixteen-year-old driver of the Toyota that he begged his father to buy for his recent birthday, shook his head in disbelief as to what had happened. The middle-aged driver of the cement truck, Jeremy, cursed quietly under his breath and pulled out his cell phone to contact his employer about the accident, glaring at Dylan the entire time. Nearby, a young couple with strollers stood frozen in their tracks and stared at the damaged trucks from a distance. From an apartment window high above the site of the accident, an elderly woman wondered just what was wrong with teenagers these days.
2. One of the drivers
"Oh, God, groans Dylan. He couldn't stop himself from shaking his head or his hands for that matter. How could this have happened? How could he not have noticed the large cement truck pulling out of the McDonald's parking lot? He had no excuse for the massive dent on the left side of his brand-new Toyota or for his father.
3. One of the witnesses
"Do you think we should call the police?" Beth asked her husband, Jason. Her fingers still clenched tightly to the handles of the stroller where one of her children slept, thankful they had decided not to grab a bite to eat at McDonalds. She was also glad the collision hadn't woken the twins. God only knows how long it would take her to put them back to sleep.
4. Another character you insert in the scene
"How could you not see the giant concrete truck pulling out, you idiot?" Max mumbled to herself as she watched the aftermath of the truck collision from her window seat at McDonalds. She took tiny sips of the cheap but effective coffee only McDonalds offered, hoping to make it last. Once the coffee ran out, she would have to leave to finish her morning errands and pass the damaged trucks on her way back to her car. The sight, Max was certain, would remind her of the accident that robbed her of her mother what seemed like yesterday.
You've inserted a character who isn't in the narrative. The assignment is to look at the accident from the points of view of the people in the story. What happened to the woman in her apartment window?
#4 is supposed to be a character that I insert into the scene, not about a character that's already there.
Then write four or five sentences describe the incident from each of the indicated viewpoints.
That's how you wrote the assignment above. If you were told something else, so be it - go with that.
As usual, your writing is quite good. I would point out that Dylan's point of view has a little flaw. He has no excuse for the dent or his father? He has some reason to find an excuse for his father as if his father is as unfortunate as the dent? I think he has no excuse TO TELL his father ABOUT the dent.
1. Omniscient: The accident scene was filled with a mixed range of emotions. Dylan, the teenage driver of the Toyota, felt disbelief and regret. Jeremy, the driver of the cement truck, was angry and frustrated. The young couple with strollers stood frozen in shock, their concern for their sleeping children evident. And from an apartment window high above, an elderly woman observed the chaos with a judgmental curiosity.
2. One of the drivers: Dylan was overwhelmed with shock and disbelief. He couldn't understand how he had failed to notice the cement truck pulling out of the parking lot. He knew he had no excuse for the damage to his new Toyota, and dreaded facing his father and explaining what had happened.
3. One of the witnesses: Beth, while clutching the stroller handles tightly, considered calling the police. She was relieved that she and Jason had decided against eating at McDonald's, and that their children remained asleep despite the collision. Beth's primary concern was how long it would take to calm the twins and put them back to sleep after this unexpected disturbance.
4. Another character: Max, a woman seated by the window at McDonald's, watched the aftermath of the accident while savoring her coffee. She silently criticized Dylan for not seeing the cement truck. As Max observed the damaged trucks, memories of her mother's fatal accident resurfaced, making her anxious to finish her errands and leave the scene.