Constructed Responce Help

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Hi, I was told I could re-do my CR and post it for checking.

There are many ways to compare and contrast the two versions of the stories “The Chicago fire”. The first version differs from the second version in many ways. Some ways is that in the first story the person lost materialistic things and is in a first person’s point of view and in the second others actually lost their lives and it is from a more journalism perspective. And there are similar things as well about the two stories. In addition in the first story the girl and her mother lost their belongings to the great fire, such as the girl loosing shoes their home and other things. The structure of the story uses “I, me, and her” and that’s from a first person’s point of view. This helps her add details about what she went through and her experience with the fire. Next, the second story comes from a more journalism point of view or out of a newspaper. In this story the person explains and gives you information about the great fire. It tells you how “300 people were dead, 100,000 people were homeless, and $200 million worth of property was destroyed. The structure of this story gives the author or journalist his purpose of informing his/her readers about this fire. Lastly, the two stories are alike because both tells you about this fire and how it affected people lives and also how it came from two different people perspective or the views of this big fire.

  • Constructed Responce Help -

    This is better. I might start out with the fact of the two points of view, then use the specific examples to support that statement.

    And it's a journalistic point of view, not a journalism point of view. Journalism is a noun, journalistic an adjective defining "point of view." Double check for such things to make your essay better yet.

    You're doing well!

  • Constructed Responce Help -

    There are many ways to compare and contrast the two versions of the stories “The Chicago fire”. The first version differs from the second version in many ways. Some ways is that in the first story the person lost materialistic things and is in a first person’s point of view and in the second others actually lost their lives and it is from a more journalistic perspective. And there are similar things as well about the two stories. In addition in the first story the girl uses “I, me, and her” and that’s from a first person’s point of view. “I was awakened and told to dress because the fire was all around us and we would soon be burnt out.--
    This helps her add details about what she went through and her experience with the fire, also the girl and her mother lost their belongings to the great fire, such as the girl losing her shoes, good clothes and their home. Next, the second story comes from a journalistic point of view or out of a newspaper. In this story the person explains and gives you information about the great fire. It tells you how “300 people were dead, 100,000 people were homeless, and $200 million worth of property was destroyed. The structure of this story gives the author or journalist his purpose of informing his/her readers about this fire. Lastly, the two stories are alike because both tells you about this fire and how it affected people lives and also how it came from two different people perspective or the views of this big fire.


    I corrected myself, do you think It's worth a 30/30, I always ger 20/30

  • Constructed Responce Help -

    This is better yet. The first person account is quite vivid with details about how the smoke was choking as they huddled at the lakeshore, losing her shoes, etc. The second version is more dispassionate, stating facts and figures.

    Go for it! I'll bet you get better than a 20/30. :) I hope so, anyway.

  • Constructed Responce Help -

    thank you :D !!

  • Constructed Responce Help -

    Well, in a final draft, include the idea I gave above. And watch those places where you repeat what you've already said. You still have some of that. Good luck on the grade.

    And, if I have helped, you are most welcome!

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