Can some one please tell me if these are assertive,non-assertive,or aggressive. and give me an example how i would write each sentence with the ones that its not.
1. You never return my phone calls.
2. I am not sure when I can meet. I'm pretty busy.
3. If we take the two o'clock train, we can get to the theater in time to have dinner before the show.
4. The last designer I worked with got everything wrong, so I hope that you are better.
5. I don't really have a favorite color, so whatever you want is fine.
1. is aggressive. You might say, "Please return my next phone call to you."
Study this site and then try to decide on the other sentences.
http://counseling.studentlife.uiowa.edu/self-help/a-comparison-of-non-assertive-assertive-and-aggressive-communication/
To determine if the sentences are assertive, non-assertive, or aggressive, we need to look at the language used and the tone conveyed.
1. "You never return my phone calls." - This sentence is aggressive as it uses an accusatory tone and makes a negative generalization about the person during the interaction.
Example of an assertive alternative: "I've noticed that you haven't returned my phone calls recently."
Example of a non-assertive alternative: "I was wondering if you received my phone calls. I haven't heard back from you."
2. "I am not sure when I can meet. I'm pretty busy." - This sentence is assertive as it clearly expresses the person's lack of certainty about their availability, without being disrespectful or blaming others.
Example of an aggressive alternative: "I'm always busy, so scheduling a meeting would be a waste of time."
Example of a non-assertive alternative: "I'm sorry, but I'm quite busy, so I don't know when I can meet."
3. "If we take the two o'clock train, we can get to the theater in time to have dinner before the show." - This sentence is assertive as it presents a suggestion or possibility in a neutral manner, without being forceful or dismissive of others' opinions.
Example of an aggressive alternative: "We must take the two o'clock train if we want to have dinner before the show. No other option is acceptable."
Example of a non-assertive alternative: "Maybe we could consider taking the two o'clock train and see if it allows us to have dinner before the show?"
4. "The last designer I worked with got everything wrong, so I hope that you are better." - This sentence is aggressive as it directly criticizes the last designer in a negative way and may put pressure on the new designer.
Example of an assertive alternative: "I had some challenges working with the last designer, so I'm hoping for a smoother experience this time."
Example of a non-assertive alternative: "I didn't have the best experience with the last designer, but I'm optimistic and looking forward to working with you."
5. "I don't really have a favorite color, so whatever you want is fine." - This sentence is assertive as it expresses a lack of preference while still being open to other suggestions.
Example of an aggressive alternative: "I don't care about colors, just pick one already!"
Example of a non-assertive alternative: "I'm sorry, I don't have a strong preference for a color, so I'll leave the decision up to you."
Remember, assertive communication involves expressing oneself clearly and directly without disrespecting others or ignoring their opinions. Non-assertive communication tends to be more passive or submissive, often downplaying one's thoughts and feelings. Aggressive communication involves being confrontational, critical, and usually disregarding the feelings or perspectives of others.