essay proofreading and criticism
posted by tony .
The agricultural revolution marked a decisive turnign point in human history. What evidence might you offer to support this claim and how might you argue against it?
I fnished my essay. My questions are within the essay.
The agricultural revolution is known as one of the great milestones to exist in human development. It can be defined as a change from our ancestors of the Stone Age/Paleolithic Era who concentrated on hunting and gathering for survival to instead gradually emphasizing more on the production of food and the domestication of animals. Over time, as much as the agriculture revolution resulted in developing a more systematic way of living life for people, some groups did not follow the lead and were more comfortable living as hunters and gatherers. Agriculture revolution led to an overall development of the Mesopotamian civilization socially, economically and politically, but it can be argued that transition to farming took away some social values from our ancestors that we will never get back.
(For the thesis, i was debating of taking out the socially, economically and politically out or should i leave that in?)
There are multiple factors that made agricultural revolution a turning point. One of the most important factors was people were becoming sedentary and coming across group settlements were common. Agriculture allowed people to farm different types of grains and vegetables, which kept increased the population making it harder to migrate. Due to their dependence of food supply, “farming populations in Europe could have increased by a factor of fifty to one hundred” (Bulliet, pg. 11). Eventually, settlements turned into villages, then into towns and then into civilizations like Mesopotamia. Since life was becoming tighter and more complex, people started to divide up the work because everyone was not capable of doing every single task. People were assigned tasks from the king who “assumed responsibility for the upkeep and building of temples”, “maintaining city walls and defenses”, “guarding property rights” and much more (Bulliet, pg 16). A form of organized government was starting to come within the community to prevent conflicts and wars. In addition, people were also having trouble with food surpluses. Rather than wasting it, they started trading food with other farmers for different materials such as wool, metals, clothing, potter, etc. Trading was an important factor because it expanded communities and villages. The art of agriculture and cultivating was spreading through trading because it gave others knowledge and a chance to learn techniques on how to better societies outside of farming. Trading reduced the need to hunt and gather for food and gave people a chance to try new things. “Metalworking became a specialized occupation in the late Neolithic period (Bulliet, pg. 13)
Climate changes, as well, were inevitable due to seasonal weather including flooding or dry weather that destroyed shelters and mainly crops. The men in settlements came up with very intricate ideas of how to stop nature from taking over by creating irrigation and pathways to control water. This improved the life of everyone because the need for migration became even rarer and it also reduced illnesses. Lastly, the most important factor of why agriculture revolution was a main point in human development because it led to writing. People needed a way to keep track of their inventory and trading transactions, so they started to mark lines on rocks. As time progressed, they started to write on clays that were rolled out and came up with symbols to communicate with others. Without writing, there would be no communicating with other beings or no evidence of history would have existed.
All these developments that occurred had a huge impact economically and politically in the new civilizations. However, it’s also important to notice the revolution wasn’t all positive socially. During the Paleolithic era, men and women held the same status and were valued equally. Men played a role in being the hunter as women were gatherers, and both played a role regarding production of food. Nonetheless, as food surpluses introduced trade and climate changes brought new inventions, the importance of women was slowly decreasing. “Husbands gained authority in the household. As new ways to plantation, were being invented, there was no need for women to hunt or gather anymore and contribute to farming. Some women did make jewelries and pottery with tools, but having those materialistic things represented high status. “Marriage alliances arranged between families made women instruments for preserving and enhancing family wealth” (Bulliet, pg, 18). Class stratification and social inequality was a major setback of the agricultural revolution and it’s a problem we still face today.
Nobody can deny agricultural revolution did not have an impact on human development in history. The process of change economically, politically, and even socially was a fascinating view of how civilization took place. However, agricultural revolution also plays a role in present day when one observes how much power the government and wealthy has over middle class families. Would “we the people” be living in this day and time if agricultural revolution did not take place? Could we have avoided social inequality? The debate of what kind of role agriculture played in human life still exists and something we may never agree upon.
Can you please see if i'm repeating any stuff?
What should i add and take out?
Where should i break the paragraphs?
And for the conclusion, should i end it with questions and are those the right questions to ask or even make sense?