Cohesion and Coherency/Sentence Variety
This short paragraph has two distinct problems. First, to improve cohesion, rewrite these sentences so that old information is at the beginning of each sentence. Second, combine sentences and/or provide transitions to improve the sentence variety.
Rewriting is something that most writers find they have to do. They rewrite to discover what they have to say. They rewrite to discover how to say it. There are a few writers who do little formal rewriting. They have capacity and experience. They create and review a large number of invisible drafts. They create and review in their minds. They do this before they approach the page.
If you're expecting someone to do your assignment for you, this is the wrong website! But if you give it a try, we'll be happy to go over your work and make suggestions.
Here is an excellent website with ideas about how to combine sentences well:
http://eslus.com/LESSONS/GRAMMAR/COMBINE/S1.htm
Scroll down and concentrate on these sections: Combination, Subordination, Reduction, Apposition.
Rewriting is a task that most writers find themselves needing to do. Discovering what they have to say and how to say it are the main reasons for rewriting. However, there are a few writers who, due to their capacity and experience, require little formal rewriting. These writers generate and review numerous invisible drafts in their minds before putting pen to paper.
Most writers find that they have to do rewriting. They need to rewrite in order to discover what they have to say and how to say it. However, there are a few experienced writers who do little formal rewriting. They have the capacity to create and review a large number of invisible drafts in their minds before they approach the page.
To improve cohesion in this paragraph, we can rearrange the sentences to place the old information at the beginning. Additionally, we can combine sentences and provide transitions to enhance sentence variety. Here's the revised paragraph:
Most writers find that they have to rewrite their work. By rewriting, they aim to discover what they have to say and how to say it effectively. However, there are a few experienced writers who require less formal rewriting. Instead, they generate and review numerous invisible drafts in their minds before approaching the page.