Please, critique this critique:
Very dramatic interactions in a world novel to me, with canine preening for competitive exhibition, following the emotions of the lead characters is exciting. This is no "Dog story", and Lassie wouldn't be noticed in the wings.
This author's powerful grasp of the language grasps the reader, and whisks us away with an intimate awareness of the minds and emotions, and the turmoil that we can all identify within ourselves. When you rest from turning the pages, you will still be in the environments she led you through.
This is awful! Sorry, but it's true. =(
Very dramatic interactions in a world novel to me, with canine preening for competitive exhibition, following the emotions of the lead characters is exciting.
This sounds as if you were writing with a thesaurus at your elbow so you could find the largest words possible. In addition, the subject and verb 1) are separated by too much gobbledegook and 2) do not agree.
I can't read any farther than that.
Please rewrite using straightforward vocabulary and MUCH simpler sentence construction.