I am doing descriptive writing.
Please read and check my story
I need help to write a solid interesting ending.
The Unexpected
I’m in a hospital bed with my mum gripping her hand onto mine. All I have endured is an extensive amount of excruciating agony of aching pain, within my joints. All that’s in my head is the constant thudding and thumping sounds, echoing consecutively. It all began in a maths classroom...
I was in Maths class, bored, and distracted beyond description. The teacher was rambling on in Algebra talk which blurred in my conscientiousness.
Miss Tedious (the most lacklustre teacher ever) seemed to sag with an expression of dullness and lack of life. Her mouth moved robotically. Her body slumped against the classroom wall beside the whiteboard, hoping for the lesson to end (just what I was hoping). She definitely had no sense of fashion that day, as she wore her lengthy, mustard skirt and a gaudy knitted jumper, with those horrifying rusted specs.
The room stood silent.
Out the window next to me, the rain was pouring heavily, from the overcast of clouds. Gushes of rain was hammering against the window pane and slicing through the leaves on the bare tree. I saw a rested, sapphire Ford parking, and then the car door slammed shut. The driver seemed rather familiar and appeared to be on a mission. He was tall and slim and wore a jet black, hooded jumper with tatty, black jeans. He seemed to have disguised himself with black, tinted shades amongst with a black pattered bandana, wrapped around his neck. He seemed rather strange and my instincts told me that I knew him. He rushed through the car park and opened the fire exit door. He took one last gaze around him, cautiously and then looked up. BAXTER?!
(What is he doing here?)
It seemed rather strange for him to have been there, as he got excluded just and couple of days ago for bullying several students and threatening the secretary to move, out of his way, or he’d end up smashing her face in. He lives on my street with his mum. His dad is in prison and he’s the only child. Almost everyone, on my street mines their own business and never interferes with his family. They are known for their vicious and violent behaviours.
“BANG!!!”
I jerked to attention. Miss Tedious rushed out of the classroom whilst the girls in the classroom screamed with fear. I seemed to have understood right away what the urgency was. So, I got off my chair and rushed through the door only to have found Baxter shooting quizzes of bullets in the corridor. Some of the bullets were ricocheting; creating sparks as they hit the surface of the metal lockers, whilst slicing across people’s cheeks bones. I looked towards Baxter and smoke was leaking at the end of his gun.
“BANG, BOOM, BANG!!!”
I was mixed with thoughts, unable to think. My heart was thudding and thumping. I found it hard to gasp for air. It was as if all the air was escaping through the chaos. My ear drums were deafening. My eyes were blurring. Baxter caught my gaze. My legs stiffened and stopped working. Before I could have done anything, I stumbled, pitched forward and fell flat on my face.
Now, I have ended up in a hospital bed, for two days, with an agonizing amount of throbbing pain. My legs are numb and stiff. My stomach is churning. My chest tightening, making it difficult for me to breathe, so I have to wear an oxygen mask. I feel short spasms of pain in my neck, every time I swallow. My eyes are burning from the sight of consecutive, thudding bullets whizzing around my sore, aching head. For the past two days, my dreams are plagued with nightmares, echoing in my sleep. I wonder if I will ever have my life back
The Unexpected - Revised Ending
After two days of enduring excruciating pain in the hospital, I finally felt a tiny glimmer of hope. The doctors had been working tirelessly to alleviate my suffering, and although it seemed like an eternity, progress was finally being made. My mom, who had been a constant source of strength, sat beside me, gently stroking my hand.
As I lay there, contemplating my misfortune, a nurse entered the room with a cheerful smile. She had a tray of food in her hands and a kind demeanor that immediately put me at ease. She must have noticed the exhaustion and worry on my face because she sat down next to me and asked if I needed someone to talk to.
I hesitated, unsure of where to start. But then, something inside me told me that this nurse was different. She had a sense of empathy that was palpable, and I felt compelled to share my experience with her.
As I poured out my story, the nurse listened attentively, nodding sympathetically and offering words of comfort. She told me that sometimes, even in the darkest of moments, there is room for hope and healing. She shared stories of patients who had faced incredible adversity but had come out stronger, their lives transformed.
Her words resonated with me deeply, igniting a spark of determination within me. I realized that I had the power to overcome this traumatic experience, to rebuild my life not in spite of what had happened, but because of it.
In the following days, I underwent intensive physical therapy, enduring the grueling challenges with a newfound resilience. My mom was by my side every step of the way, offering unwavering support and love. Slowly but surely, movement returned to my numb legs, and the pain in my joints lessened.
With each small victory, I started to regain my sense of self. The nightmares that haunted my dreams began to fade, replaced by visions of a brighter future. Though the road to recovery was long and challenging, I was no longer afraid. I knew that I had the strength to face whatever obstacles lay ahead.
Months passed, and I finally walked out of the hospital, a different person than the one who had entered. The incident had changed me, but not for the worse. It had given me a newfound appreciation for life and a deep empathy for those who had experienced trauma. I made it my mission to advocate for change, to raise awareness about the importance of mental health and safety in schools.
As time went on, I realized that my story had the power to inspire others. I wrote a book, detailing my journey of healing and resilience, and it became a bestseller. I traveled around the country, sharing my story and offering hope to others who had faced similar challenges.
And as I looked back on that fateful day in the math classroom, I no longer felt anger or resentment towards Baxter. Instead, I felt compassion. I hoped that he, too, would find the strength to overcome his own demons and find a path towards redemption.
In the end, the unexpected tragedy had transformed my life in ways I could have never imagined. It taught me the power of resilience, the importance of community, and the limitless possibility of the human spirit. And as I moved forward, I knew that no matter what challenges I faced, I would always have the strength to overcome them.