Should I revise anything? What improvements do you suggest?
Although it may be derivative and overly nostalgic, I think the 1993 film The Sandlot, directed by David M. Evans, is a genuinely sweet and hilarious adventure that that takes place upon a screen. With its tone and narration, this film ultimately captures the innocence and joy of being young.
During my viewing of this film, the first feature that captured my attention was the narration. It not only created playful suspense and dread, but also enabled me, as a viewer, to watch through a young boy’s perspective. It made me aware of the character’s thoughts and revealed aspects of each of their future lives. Furthermore, I think that the narration contributed to the comedic nature of the film.
Although it may be considered a “family-friendly” film, I don’t think that The Sandlot is appropriate for children of certain ages. An example of my reasoning is when the young baseball players attend the amusement park while consuming an entire bag of chewing tobacco. I think this scene in particular may intrigue young viewers encourage them to do the same. Furthermore, while the boys stare at the attractive lifeguard with typical pre-teen interest, the camera lingers on close-ups of her various body parts. Whatever the intent, the result is unnecessary.
Overall, I thought that The Sandlot was an entertaining, captivating, and humorous film. However, if I were to recommend this movie, it certainly wouldn’t be to a young child who may be oblivious to the some of the content within it.
Can someone please help me?
I think it sounds pretty good, though I have never watched the movie and although your article is not necessarily convincing I'm not about to start nitpicking. If you are in tenth grade or under I'd say it sounds pretty good.
Based on your request for improvement suggestions, there are a few areas you could revise to enhance the clarity and flow of your writing. Here are some specific recommendations:
1. In your opening sentence, you could rephrase it to be more direct and concise. For example: "Should I revise anything? What improvements do you suggest for my analysis of the 1993 film The Sandlot, directed by David M. Evans?"
2. In your introduction, consider expanding on why you found the film to be derivative and nostalgic. You can provide specific examples or comparisons to other films that may have influenced your perception.
3. When discussing the narration, try to explain why it was effective in capturing the innocence and joy of being young. Provide specific instances from the film that showcased this effect.
4. Instead of stating that the film is "considered" family-friendly, you can simply state that it is a family-friendly film. However, when discussing its appropriateness for children, provide more concrete examples and explore the potential consequences of certain scenes, rather than just mentioning them briefly.
5. In your conclusion, consider summarizing your analysis and opinion of the film more explicitly. Also, clarify why you would not recommend it to young children, highlighting specific content concerns and potential negative influences.
By implementing these revisions, you can strengthen your analysis and provide a clearer understanding of your viewpoint on the film.