can u please help me revise my introduction and conclusion paragraph with better wordings.
Introduction paragraph
I have chosen my career field as an accountant but I want to start it with being a bank teller. I want to become a bank teller soon because this profession satisfies my salary goal, applies and improves my math skills and communication skills, and gives me a chance to work around people. The Bank tellers work at different branches of the bank to help and assist customers with their financial transactions. They can pursue promotional jobs by proving their abilities and meeting the criteria of educational requirement and most importantly great customer service.
Conclusion Paragraph
My career goal is to be an account but I want some hand on experience before I start anything of my own. The first thing that came to my mind was working at the bank where I can learn all the necessary things. I can’t wait to start working at the bank as this will later help me in the future.
Introduction paragraph:
I have made a decision to pursue a career in accounting, and I believe that starting as a bank teller is the ideal way to begin my journey. Becoming a bank teller aligns with my salary aspirations while also allowing me to apply and enhance my mathematical and communication skills. Furthermore, working as a bank teller grants me the opportunity to interact with people on a daily basis, which I find fulfilling. Bank tellers operate at various bank branches, assisting customers with their financial transactions. By demonstrating their capabilities and meeting educational requirements, bank tellers can pursue promotional opportunities, particularly by providing exceptional customer service.
Conclusion paragraph:
Ultimately, my ultimate career objective is to excel as an accountant. To lay a strong foundation and gain valuable practical experience, I am eager to embark on a bank teller role. Working at a bank provides me with the opportunity to acquire essential skills and knowledge that will undoubtedly prove beneficial in my future endeavors. I am enthusiastic about the prospect of starting my journey as a bank teller as it holds the potential to shape and contribute to my future success as an accountant.