can you check my grammar and spelling? and does it look better?
Erin Oldham
Calvin Brown
20 March 2013
ASL 2
ASL 2 Research paper
I am writing about interviewing three Deaf Persons for my ASL research paper. The first person I interviewed is Christian DeGuzman. He has been profoundly deaf since birth, and at about 2 or 3 years old his parents found out that he was deaf. Christian grew up in the Bay Area, went to a mainstream school with Deaf and hard of hearing kids. He had full day of mainstream classes in school without his interpreter. He transferred to a different school for his sophomore year. His mom wanted to put him in a mainstream school for a full day, no more DHH classes. He has two interpreters at the same time. Christian’s one oldest interpreter’s name is Kathy Jackson. His family members are hearing full; he’s the only deaf one, so his family members know some ASL too.
Christian began to learn ASL in preschool. He is a good student and smart; and he is happy being deaf, but he wishes he could hear too. His dream is acting and to become an actor because he really wants to be an actor; that’s why he wants to help charity or donate for children’s support. Christian’s hobby is photography and talking to friends, etc. In the future he would like to teach ASL to his children. His favorite TV show is 7th Heaven.
The second person I interviewed is Angie Arney. She was born in Redding, California on July 1, 1965. She went to hearing school; her hearing classmates learned a little sign. Her families are all hearing exactly; she’s deaf, but her daughter Brenda can sign very well. Her families are not communicating well. They only know a little bit of sign. Her type of sign language is SEE, and her teacher, Mrs. Orr, taught her sign language. Her goal is to get a new job, a good paycheck. She loves photography, hiking, making wood, etc. She met her husband named Tom in 2000, and they married in 2008. Angie accepts being deaf. The third person I interviewed is Lo Saelee. He was born in Chiang Mai, Thailand, but he has lived here in USA for 33 years. Lo also grew up in Redding, California, but then moved to Seattle, Washington. His birthday is September 16 1981. He went to a mainstream hearing school at seven years old, and during the time he was in elementary school. Then Lo went to Shasta High School in 9th grade, and last transferred to California School for the Deaf (Fremont, California). Lo’s families are all hearing exactly; he’s deaf. His brother/sister sign well. Also his father/mother do not sign well. Because it is hard to understand about Deaf culture, they also don’t care about sign language. His type of sign language is oral-mainstreaming school, 6th grade (signing SEE). He is not proud being deaf and is single, and has no kids. His hobby is fishing, going to deaf events, etc. My conclusion is what I learned from the interview with three deaf persons. They are all deaf like me. I am happy being deaf, but I am frustrated because it would be easier to communicate with hearing people if I could hear; I want to be hearing like the hearing people are. I learned that Lo Saelee went to my school, graduated there, I felt bad for him, because he is not happy being deaf so I think it’s frustrating for him to communicate poorly with his family. He is trying to do his best, but he does not accept being deaf. Angie is very sweet because she’s nice and I’ve been known her and her daughter since Girl Scouts when I was little. I also learned about how Christian didn’t go to my school because he should have graduated from California School for the Deaf so he decided to stay in a mainstreaming school. He and I are good friends since 2007.
Surely this is not all one paragraph. Please repost and hit the Enter key twice at the end of each paragraph.
Yup^
I have checked your grammar and spelling. Here are some suggestions to improve your writing:
1. In the first paragraph, you can start by mentioning that you are writing about interviewing three Deaf individuals for your ASL research paper.
2. Instead of saying "The first person I interviewed is Christian DeGuzman," you can say "One of the individuals I interviewed is Christian DeGuzman."
3. In the sentence, "He had a full day of mainstream classes in school without his interpreter," add an article before "a full day," so it becomes "He had a full day of mainstream classes in school without an interpreter."
4. Instead of saying "Christian’s one oldest interpreter’s name is Kathy Jackson," you can say "Christian's oldest interpreter's name is Kathy Jackson."
5. In the sentence, "His family members are hearing full," replace "hearing full" with "fully hearing" to make it grammatically correct.
6. Instead of saying, "Christian began to learn ASL in preschool," you can say "Christian started learning ASL in preschool."
7. When mentioning his favorite TV show, "7th Heaven," you can italicize or put it in quotation marks to indicate that it is the title of a show.
8. In the second paragraph, instead of saying "Her families are all hearing exactly; she’s deaf," you can say "All her family members are hearing, but she is deaf."
9. In the sentence, "Her families are not communicating well," replace "families" with "family members" to make it grammatically correct.
10. When mentioning her type of sign language, "SEE," you can write it in full, which stands for "Signed Exact English."
11. In the third paragraph, instead of saying "His brother/sister sign well," you can say "His siblings can sign well."
12. When stating his type of sign language, "oral-mainstreaming school, 6th grade (signing SEE)," you can rephrase it to "He used Signed Exact English (SEE) during his time in an oral mainstreaming school until 6th grade."
13. Instead of saying "My conclusion is what I learned from the interview with three deaf persons," you can say "In conclusion, based on my interviews with the three Deaf individuals, I have learned…"
I hope these suggestions help improve the grammar and clarity of your writing.