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Lead

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Hi i'm trying to write a lead for my Journalism class, tell me which works best. If they both need revised can you point it out?

In Kalamazoo County unemployment for white people is at 10.2 percent, whereas for black people it is at 21.2 percent, according to American Factfinder years estimated 2007-2011

OR

In Kalamazoo County unemployment for black people is over twice as high as it is for whites, according to American Factfinder years estimated 2007-2011

  • Lead - Journalism -

    Definitely your second lead is better.

    In the last part >>

    according to American Factfinder estimates for 2007 - 2011.

  • Lead -

    thank you.. Ms Sue do you know for AP style if it is correct to write 2007 to 2011?

  • Lead -

    No, sorry -- I don't know what AP style is for this. Normally the publication for which you're writing has its own style book.

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