I have to do a paragraph due Wednesday. Could someone please read it and point out any unclear, vague, or wordy points?
Throughout Langston Hughes' poem "Mother to Son," the speaker sympathizes with the reader regarding the difficulty of life. For example, the speaker begins the poem by saying
"Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up" (2-5).
The speaker connects her life to an unmaintained staircase, explaining that obstacles hinder her ascent. Her description of life warns readers of the problems one will face throughout his/her "journey up the staircase." Furthermore, the speaker continues her story, saying
"I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark" (9-12).
Despite the barriers the speaker faces in her life, she perseveres, achieving goals and reaching positive turning points. Nonetheless, she experiences times when she "goes in the dark," not knowing what to do next. Finally, the speaker concludes by teaching a valuable life lesson, saying "So, boy, don't you turn back / Don't you set down on the steps / 'Cause you finds it's kinder hard" (14-16). The speaker reminds readers to never give up, revealing that sitting down on a splinter-full staircase brings pain and discomfort. She also wants readers to know that by overcoming obstacles, one will grow as a person. To conclude, the speaker provides advice about life, teaching readers that persistent action toward a goal brings more satisfaction than just giving up.
Also, note that the structure is similar to a three-paragraph essay. This is a three-chunk paragraph.
The only part I'd change is "a splinter- full staircase" -- find a different way to phrase that without using any hyphens.
Everything else reads fine.
Here's a breakdown of the paragraph:
1. The paragraph gives a brief overview of Langston Hughes' poem "Mother to Son," explaining that the speaker sympathizes with the hardships of life.
2. The paragraph provides examples of how the speaker communicates her struggles through vivid imagery in the poem. It quotes lines 2-5, where the speaker compares her life to an unmaintained staircase with obstacles such as tacks, splinters, and torn boards.
3. The paragraph mentions that the speaker also shares her journey of climbing, reaching landings, turning corners, and sometimes facing uncertainty, as seen in lines 9-12.
4. The paragraph concludes by highlighting the valuable life lesson the speaker imparts to readers in lines 14-16, advising them not to give up and not to sit on the staircase because it can be painful. It also emphasizes the speaker's belief in personal growth through overcoming obstacles.
To address your request for any unclear, vague, or wordy points in the paragraph, here are some suggestions:
1. Consider providing a bit more context about the poem and its theme before diving into specific examples. This will help readers who may not be familiar with "Mother to Son" to better understand its significance.
2. When using quotes from the poem, it's helpful to provide some analysis or explanation of how they relate to the overall theme or message of the poem.
3. Instead of using phrases like "despite the barriers" and "nonetheless," consider using more explicit transitions that connect the different parts of the paragraph together.
4. The paragraph is generally concise and clear, but you may want to revise a few sentences to enhance readability and flow. For instance, in the last sentence, consider rephrasing "persistent action toward a goal brings more satisfaction than just giving up" to something like "persevering toward our goals brings greater fulfillment than giving in to challenges."
By implementing these suggestions, you can improve the clarity, coherence, and overall effectiveness of your paragraph.