BAA App. Essay Help! (please read!)

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Black Achievement Award

I was nominate for BAA, so I have to complete the application and in the application is says that I have to describe my accomplishments (i have to choose two of the five personal achievements; community, artistic, athletic, leadership, or personal triumph & success)

I picked community (since I do community service) and artistic.

I have to write one paragraph for community and one paragraph for artistic. I need help starting the paragraph for both community and artistic.

Here are some notes:

Community - I'm in the NJHS, Roots & Shoots, and Neighbor to Neighbor Gardening Program.

Artistic - I was one of the finalist for the 2012 Reflections for Visual Arts and the theme was "Diversity Means...".

Please Help! This is REALLY important to me.

  • BAA App. Essay Help! (please read!) -

    You're started both paragraphs. Now describe your community service and your artistic achievement.

  • BAA App. Essay Help! (please read!) -

    ok, when I'm done I'm going to post it, for you or any other teachers to see if it's good.

  • BAA App. Essay Help! (please read!) -

    OK. :-)

    Please make sure you proofread it carefully before you post it.

  • BAA App. Essay Help! (please read!) -

    One of my personal achievements has to do with artistic. When I was in the 7th grade I participate in the 2012 Reflections Competition. The theme was "Diversity Means...". I decided to do visual arts. In my art work, I drew a huge earth and on top of the earth I drew five people holding hands (one Haitian, one Jamaican, one Muslim, one Irish, and one Indian). My art work represent the importance of diversity, that you should accept everyone no matter who they are. After I submit my artwork, about 3 months later, my parents surprise me by taking me to the ceremony. At the ceremony I was one of the district finalist for the Reflections, so I received a trophy. I was so happy because this is my first time winning the Reflections and I'm hoping I win again this year and so on.

    I'm done with this paragraph for the artistic. Now I'm working on the community. Please check to see if it's good and any suggests to make my paragraph better please let me no. Make sure there's NO grammar errors.

    Thank You! :)

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