Here's the second one:
Please check to see if there any grammar errors and if it's good.
BTW ---- If you NEVER heard of the movie Google it and read about it on Wikipedia.
Urban Unit 2012 - Stand and Deliver Response
Would you be willing to give up your mornings, afternoons, and weekends, and a good part of your summer to prove to yourself that you could pass a test? To the students in the class, was this just a test or was it something more?
I'm willing to give up my mornings, afternoons, and weekends, and a good part of my summer to prove to myself that I could pass a test, if it's a big test, something really important. If it's not important then I'm not going to waste my time. To the students in the class, it's not just a test, it was something more. They're taking an AP exam. Colleges they apply will be seeing their test scores to see if they understand the concept they are learning.
Also -- students who pass an AP test get college credit for that class.
I don't see any grammatical mistakes. :-)
Wouldn't it depend on what you are giving up? You are not giving up "summer", You are giving up other things, such as activities. Would you give up a world cruise? Would you give up a trip to Europe with your girl scout troop?
I would explore what giving up a Summer means. If you are giving up cartoons, and sleeping to noon, that is quite different from a giving up a great adventure.
You have a point bobpursley
and thanks for that extra detail Ms. Sue
thank you soo much! :)
You're very welcome.
Here's the analysis of the given text:
The text appears to be a response or personal reflection on the willingness to sacrifice time and effort for a test. Overall, the grammar is mostly correct, but there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity and coherence.
1. Sentence structure and punctuation:
- The sentence "If it's not important then I'm not going to waste my time" can be improved by adding a comma after "important" to separate the clauses: "If it's not important, then I'm not going to waste my time."
- Similarly, in the next sentence, a comma should be added after "test": "To the students in the class, it's not just a test; it was something more."
- The last sentence starting with "Colleges they apply will be seeing..." lacks proper subject-verb agreement. It should be rewritten as "The colleges to which they apply will see their test scores to determine their understanding of the concepts they are learning."
2. Use of capitalization and acronyms:
- "Urban Unit 2012" and "Stand and Deliver" are capitalized, but it's unclear if these are proper nouns or the titles of a specific organization or movie. It would be beneficial to verify and clarify their usage.
- "AP" can be expanded to "Advanced Placement" on its first mention to provide clarity to readers who may not be familiar with the acronym.
3. Clarity and fluency:
- The sentence "I'm willing to give up my mornings, afternoons, and weekends, and a good part of my summer to prove to myself that I could pass a test if it's a big test, something really important" is a bit long and can be challenging to follow. It can be rewritten for better clarity and flow, for example: "I'm willing to dedicate my time, including mornings, afternoons, weekends, and a significant portion of my summer, to prove to myself that I can pass an important, high-stakes test."
Once the suggested changes are applied, the revised text could look like this:
"Would you be willing to give up your mornings, afternoons, and weekends, and a good part of your summer to prove to yourself that you could pass a test? To the students in the class, it's not just a test; it was something more. They're taking an Advanced Placement (AP) exam. The colleges to which they apply will see their test scores to determine their understanding of the concepts they are learning."
Remember that these are just suggestions for improvement, and the final version depends on the intended meaning and style of the writer.