Can someone help me proofread this?
Industrial Inventors
The Industrial Revolution began in England in the 18th century and ended in the 19th century. It began in England and then spread throughout the world. There were many changes in agriculture, trade and transport during the Industrial Revolution. Not only did Industrial Revolution change Britain, it also changed many of technological advances throughout the world.
Eli Whitney is one of many inventors that had a major impact in the Industrial Revolution. Eli Whitney changed the way people remove the seeds in cotton. He created the cotton gin which made it easier and faster for people to remove the seeds in cotton. This made the cotton industry of the south explode. Without this invention we would be wasting our time removing the seeds from cotton by hand.
Thomas Edison is another inventor that had a major impact in the Industrial Revolution. Thomas Edison is probably one of the biggest inventors from all time and created the most inventions by a person. He changed the whole world with all of his patented inventions. He patented over one thousand inventions such as the light bulb and the phonograph which was his first invention.
James Watt is another inventor that had a major impact in the Industrial Revolution. James Watt’s impact in the Industrial Revolution was that he improved the steam engine. He improved it by making it work faster and more efficiently. Steam engines were used to run steamships and steam locomotives which allowed for quicker transportation of raw materials. Now steam engines are still used to help run nuclear power plants.
The Industrial Revolution changed Britain and the entire world with many technological advances. It had a great impact in agriculture, trade and transportation. Eli Whitney changed agriculture by inventing the cotton gin which made it easier for people to remove seeds from cotton. Thomas Edison changed the whole world with over one thousand inventions. James watt changed the way people transported raw materials making it quicker with his steam engine.
This looks good.
I suggest you combine your first two sentences to get rid of the redundancy. Also, Watt should be capitalized in the last sentence.
Sure! Here is the proofread version of your text:
Industrial Inventors
The Industrial Revolution began in England in the 18th century and ended in the 19th century. It started in England and then spread throughout the world. There were significant changes in agriculture, trade, and transport during the Industrial Revolution. Not only did the Industrial Revolution change Britain, but it also led to many technological advances worldwide.
One of the inventors who had a major impact on the Industrial Revolution was Eli Whitney. He revolutionized the process of removing seeds from cotton by creating the cotton gin, which made it easier and faster. This invention greatly contributed to the growth of the cotton industry in the south. Without it, people would have wasted a lot of time removing seeds from cotton by hand.
Another prominent inventor of the Industrial Revolution was Thomas Edison. He is widely regarded as one of the greatest inventors of all time, with over a thousand patented inventions to his name. Some of his most famous inventions include the light bulb and the phonograph, which was his first invention. His innovations transformed the world in many ways.
James Watt is also worth mentioning as an inventor who had a major impact in the Industrial Revolution. He made significant improvements to the steam engine, making it faster and more efficient. Steam engines were vital in running steamships and steam locomotives, allowing for quicker transportation of raw materials. Today, steam engines are still used to power nuclear power plants.
The Industrial Revolution brought about many technological advances that changed Britain and the entire world. It had a profound impact on agriculture, trade, and transportation. Eli Whitney's invention of the cotton gin revolutionized agriculture, while Thomas Edison's numerous inventions transformed the world. James Watt's improvements to the steam engine revolutionized transportation, enabling faster movement of raw materials.
Overall, the Industrial Revolution was a defining period in history, demonstrating the power of innovation and its impact on society.
Sure, I can help you proofread your text. Here are some suggestions:
- In the second sentence of the first paragraph, consider rephrasing it to say "It began in England and then spread throughout the world."
- In the second paragraph, after the sentence "He created the cotton gin which made it easier and faster for people to remove the seeds in cotton," consider adding a sentence to explain the significance of this invention. For example, you could say "This invention revolutionized the cotton industry in the south by making the seed removal process more efficient."
- In the third paragraph, after the sentence "He changed the whole world with all of his patented inventions," you could give a brief overview of some of his most famous inventions, such as the electric light bulb and the phonograph.
- In the fourth paragraph, after the sentence "James Watt’s impact in the Industrial Revolution was that he improved the steam engine," consider adding a sentence to explain how his improvements to the steam engine affected transportation. You could say "His innovations allowed for the development of steamships and steam locomotives, which greatly improved the speed and efficiency of raw material transportation."
- In the last paragraph, consider rephrasing the sentence "It had a great impact in agriculture, trade, and transportation" to say "The Industrial Revolution had a significant impact on agriculture, trade, and transportation."
Remember to proofread for grammar and punctuation errors as well.
Go back and look at what you said. You repeat the term "industrial Revolution" way too many times.(It's called padding.)
Narrow down your point. You have listed a group of random factoids in no particular order. Pick three and, in chronological order, discuss WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE AND HOW. Always remember to KISS = Keep It Short and Simple.