posted by Sanya .
Can someone critique an SAT Essay that I post? I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
Assignment: Is it important for people to let go of the past? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Letting go of the past can difficult at times for people, however, it is something very vital. There are many occasions that people face in their life and must learn to move on from and simply let go, no matter how difficult it may be. One example that efficiently portrays why it is important for people to let go of the past was in the novel, "Waving Blue," by Russel Mann, where the narrator faces many difficulties in life, but still manages to move on an shine bright. Another example is when my dog passed away and it was very difficult for me to move past that, however, with time and great difficulty, I have gotten over it.
In the novel, "Waving Blue" by Russel Mann, the narrator creates and deals with many problems in his life, yet he is able to move past them, and move on. One instance in the novel is when the main character Ryan has to make the choice of whether not to leave his home, family, and town to go to a college off in London. He makes the bold choice of leaving everything and going to London, only in the end regretting his decision. The amount of loneliness and despair that he feels is overwhelming, but yet has to keep his decision and move past from the fact that he can't do anything about his situation. So, instead of weeping about it, and always pondering the "what if" question, he decides that it is best for him to move past and not worry.
Another example that shows that it is best to move on and let go of the past is when my dog, Sparky died. I had my dog for almost five years, and when she passed away it was terrible. Letting go of her was very difficult and moving on from the fact that she was no longer going to be with me was down right frightening. However, with time which can fix almost anything, I started to let go and allow myself to detach from those feelings. I realized that by holding on I would just cause myself more pain and trouble and that was unnecessary and letting go of the past made it easier.
Throughout life, people face all kinds of situations where decisions and choices have to be made. Although these choices may be difficult, such as moving past some sort of incident, and simply trying to forget and move on, is the right choice to make. Since there is absolutely nothing that can be possible done about what's happened in the past then there is no point weeping over it and making it an issue. It is best to put the issue behind and let go of the past, because it will indeed make things easier.
marking it as in the SAT, a rough draft, somewhat expecting grammar errors, looking for logic, thinking, and evidence.
I did not find much argument on the word IMPORTANT, which was the point of the essay prompt. You argued for moving on, but your argument on why it was important is weak. Your last sentence almost makes the case, but it was the last sentence.
On these prompts, read them carefully, and make certain you answer just the prompt.
I mark it: 5
So, it would be better if I continued to reinforce the point that it IS IMPORTANT to move on and basically what I said in the last sentence, repeat (but in different words) throughout the essay?
I also have another essay. do you mind reading it? I really appreciate you taking the time out to give me feedback. Thank you so much.
I'm stuck between a 4 and a 5.
Sanya, post it in another post, title it SAT ESSAY. Someone will get to it tonite,or the morning. We all do this professionally.
Yes, it would have been helpful to develope why it was important.
An excellent example of developing one thought: read Elizabeth Browniings How do I love thee?
There is no missing her point . In your essay, the prompt was is it important, and you could have taken Brownings lead by listing the reasons it was important.
May I post another essay please?
Okay thank you so much for your feedback sir.
yes, post it in another post thread. check it in the morning.