Your favorite cousin has moved to your town and is looking for a job. Her previous experiences are
working as a cashier and sales clerk at two department stores. You know she plans to apply at similar
stores in your town. But you also know she is a perfect match for a job opening as a reliable assistant
to your boss. You know she has the skills, though she doesn’t think she is as capable as she is, and
you’re sure she’d be good at this job.
Your goal is to persuade your cousin to apply for the job. You e-mail her a paragraph explaining the
specifics of the job and the reasons she should apply. You want to convince her that she has the job
skills required. You’ll use an informal tone, of course, but will take care to use correct business writing
to show her that you take your recommendation seriously
This is what I have written, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Dear Bonnie,
I am so excited to have you back in town. Aunt Clarice told me you were looking for a job. I know you have experience working as a cashier and sales clerk in department stores. My boss, Graham Markert is currently seeking an assistant. He is the owner and operator of Markerts Enterprise .He asked if I knew anyone that would be a good assistant, I immediately thought of you! I think you would be perfect for this position. The skills required for the position are, answering phone calls, taking messages, setting up appointments, and occasionally scheduling business meetings. You have excellent people skills, you are also compassionate, organized, and you have the ability to work quickly and efficiently, I know Mr. Markert would consider you a real asset to his company. The benefits are excellent too, you get medical, dental, and paid vacation. It would be awesome to have you on our team. I really hope you consider applying for this position. I can’t wait to see you this weekend.
All the best,
Babs
Looks great!
One small correction, though -- you need either a period or semicolon after "too" in this sentence.
"The benefits are excellent too, you get medical, dental, and paid vacation."
Thanks so much, really appreciate all your help..
You're very welcome.
Dear Bonnie,
I am thrilled to hear that you've moved back to town, and I heard from Aunt Clarice that you're looking for a job. I couldn't help but think of you when my boss, Graham Markert, mentioned he was seeking an assistant at Markerts Enterprise. I genuinely believe you'd be a great fit for the position.
The role of the assistant entails various tasks like answering phone calls, taking messages, setting up appointments, and occasionally scheduling business meetings. I know you might not realize it, but your experience as a cashier and sales clerk in department stores has equipped you with the necessary skills to excel in this position. Moreover, you possess exceptional people skills, compassion, organizational abilities, and the ability to work quickly and efficiently. I am confident that Mr. Markert would consider you a valuable asset to his company.
In addition to the rewarding nature of the job itself, the benefits package is excellent. You'll have access to medical and dental coverage, as well as paid vacation. Joining our team would be fantastic, and I would be genuinely excited to have you on board.
I sincerely hope you consider applying for this position. I believe in your capabilities, and I can't wait to see you this weekend to discuss it further.
Wishing you all the best,
Babs