writing

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please read over my paper for errors?

  • writing -

    Where is the paper?

  • writing -

    Hi Gail, glad to know you are final back in town. Businesses have really improve since you were here last. The town has more job to offer. I hope you are looking for a new job. My boss Mr. Ray Cooley the own of a dress shop by the name Beauty and Beyond need an assistant for his store. I had to think of you with your many years of experience. The duties would be to keep record of sales, ordering the last line of women dresses. I know you have those skills You are a multi-tasking ,comprassionate and a people person. I know you will do very well with this company. Please tell me when you can come and submitted your application. I will put in a good word for you to him. This is a job that can open many doors for you in the future.

  • writing -

    It reads fine. Try this, to work on finding the few errors I see:

    Read your paper aloud to someone else, one sentence at a time, from the last sentence to the first.

    Make the corrections you hear, and then re-post it.

  • writing -

    Hi Gail, glad to know you are final back in town. Businesses have really improve since you were here last. The town has many jobs to offer. I hope you are looking for a job. My boss Mr. Ray cooley, the of a a dress shop by the name Beauty and Beyond. He needs an assistant for his store. I thought of you with your many years of experience. The duties would be to keep record of sales and ordering the latest line of women dresses. I know you have the skills for this job. You are muti-tasking, and a people person. Please let me know if you are interest in this job. I will put in a word for you with the boss. I feel this will open many doors for you in the future.

  • writing -

    How come I'm now seeing errors that weren't in our first post?

    Hi Gail, <~~salutation needs to be on a separate line from the text of your letter

    glad to know you are final back in town.<~~This is not a complete sentence. Also, the word in front of "back" should be "finally" -- if you read this aloud, you probably pronounced it correctly, but didn't get the ending on the word.

    Businesses have really improve since you were here last. <~~What correction needs to be made regarding "improve"?

    The town has many jobs to offer. I hope you are looking for a job. <~~ok

    My boss Mr. Ray cooley, the of a a dress shop by the name Beauty and Beyond. <~~Read this sentence in your first post. It was better there. The revision here doesn't make sense.

    He needs an assistant for his store. <~~OK

    I thought of you with your many years of experience.<~~OK

    The duties would be to keep record of sales and ordering the latest line of women dresses.<~~What needs to happen with the word "record"?

    I know you have the skills for this job. You are muti-tasking, and a people person.<~~OK, but there's a spelling error here. Do you see it?

    Please let me know if you are interest in this job. <~~What word needs correcting in here?

    I will put in a word for you with the boss. I feel this will open many doors for you in the future. <~~OK

  • writing -

    thank you for your help with this paper!

  • writing -

    You're welcome. Your writing is noticeably better than in the first post I saw from you last week! Congrats!!

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