How is my introductory paragraph to persuasive writing?

Picture this, you are taking a test and the person next to you is chewing their gum loudly,so you can't concentrate. How disrespectful is that? The school board needs to make a rule no chewing gum in school.

There's no way to know if this is a good intro or not ... not unless we can read the whole paper first.

Have you at least written the rough draft?

No, I have made an informal outline. I have 3 Key ideas for not chewing gum in school 1. distractive to other students 2. school would be cleaner 3 would teach students respect Each key idea has 3 supporting facts.

After you have written your rough draft -- paragraphs, not just an outline -- then decide if this is a good intro.

Repost when you have it all together.

Was my grammar and punctuation okay in the paragraph?

Your introductory paragraph to persuasive writing is a good start. It effectively grabs the reader's attention by painting a relatable scenario of someone being distracted by someone chewing gum loudly during a test. This sets the stage for your argument that the school board should make a rule against chewing gum in school. However, to further enhance the effectiveness of your introductory paragraph, you could consider adding some additional elements.

1. Provide Context: After the first sentence, it would help to provide a bit of context about the importance of concentration during tests and its impact on academic performance. This will establish why a disruption like loud gum chewing is significant.

2. Highlight the Issue: Clearly state the problem or issue at hand - in this case, the lack of concentration caused by gum chewing. Explain why it is disrespectful and how it affects the overall learning environment.

3. Thesis Statement: Conclude your introductory paragraph with a concise thesis statement that clearly presents your argument. This will help guide the reader and make your point of view explicit. For example, "Given the negative impact on concentration and the disrespectful nature of loud gum chewing during tests, it is imperative for the school board to implement a no chewing gum policy."

By incorporating these suggestions, you will be able to strengthen your introductory paragraph and engage your readers more effectively.