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Every sentence in the paragraph below violates some principle of good persuasive writing. Revise the paragraph, following the directions at the end of each sentence; use your imagination where necessary. Type the revised paragraph in the text box provided below. CAUTION: BEFORE BEGINNING WORK, READ THE PARAGRAPH AND DIRECTIONS

CAREFULLY.

The Honors Association in this school is all eggheads; they should do something practical for a change. (Eliminate the stereotype and state your opinion more reasonably.) Specifically, I recommend they buy the football team jackets each year. (Come up with a more appealing project for this audience.) This would meet a real need in our school. (Be more specific in this background statement.) The other clubs around here all do something. (Introduce a limiting word; give one or two specific examples to prove this fact.) The most important reason is that the members of the association claim that service to the school is one of their goals. (If it is so important, move this sentence and the next one to just before the call to action.) If they can't buy those jackets, they should just disband. (Include the project you used above; modify the either-or-approach.) Nonmembers think the association should be more active. (Use a transition to introduce this idea; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion --perhaps from the officer of another club.) The faculty thinks the association should be more active. (Use a transition; add a limiting word; add authoritative opinion.) That is all I have to say. (Replace this with a forceful call to action.)

Nuts to us doing your work. Exactly what is your theory of learning by asking others to do your work and thinking?

We'll be glad to comment on YOUR revisions.

they will get more education...duh

The Honors Association in this school is often perceived as being solely filled with academically-focused individuals; however, it is important to recognize that their efforts can be directed towards practical endeavors as well. In this case, a more appealing project for this association would be to consider providing annual jackets for the football team. By doing so, they would be addressing a real need within our school community. This can be substantiated by comparing their actions to other clubs in the school, such as the Student Council and the Environmental Club, both of which actively contribute towards tangible improvements. Notably, one of the goals of the Honors Association is to serve the school, and providing jackets for the football team aligns with this objective. In the event that purchasing jackets proves unfeasible, alternative options should be explored rather than disbanding the association entirely. It is worth noting that nonmembers share the belief that the association should be more active, as expressed by the officer of another club. Additionally, the faculty also supports the notion of increased involvement by the association. Given these considerations, it is imperative that the Honors Association takes immediate action towards a more impactful and visible contribution to the school.