Revised and errors corrected , is it ready for submittance?

Dear Mr. Dittmer:
I am writing to you to request a trainer for our seminar on sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination in the workplace for twenty of our office supervisors. Our company would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for Wydade’s reliable support in offering most of Broadworth’s training needs for the past 20 years.

We would like the seminar to be held on September 14, 2012, at 10 am. The seminar is to be two hours long with a 15-minute break during which refreshments will be provided. It will be held in our conference room on the first floor in room 105. The topics we need to be covered are ways to prevent, cope with, and report such harassment. At your convenience could you please send me a list of resources the trainer will need in order to make this seminar a success. We would also need to know what our supervisors should bring along with them to the seminar.

If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at 802-585-8668. I look forward to another great seminar this year.

Sincerely,

Shawna Parker

Shawna Parker
Administrative Assitant

SP

Everything reads well. The only question I have is about the word "offering" in the second sentence. Did they just offer the trainings? Or did they actually supply them?

I know it's all from your imagination, and it's rather picky. Just wondering!

Supplying probably lol :)

Yes, excellent!

Dear Mr. Dittmer,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to you to submit the revised version of the previous email. I have carefully reviewed it and made the necessary corrections. Here is the revised email:

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Dear Mr. Dittmer,

I am writing to request a trainer for our upcoming seminar on sexual harassment and unlawful discrimination in the workplace. We would like to have this seminar for twenty of our office supervisors. Firstly, I would like to take this opportunity to express our gratitude for Wydade's consistent support in providing most of Broadworth's training needs over the past 20 years.

We have scheduled the seminar to take place on September 14, 2012, at 10 am. The duration of the seminar will be two hours, with a 15-minute break in between. During the break, we will arrange for refreshments to be provided. The seminar will be held in our conference room on the first floor, specifically in room 105. The main topics we would like to be covered include ways to prevent, cope with, and report instances of harassment. To ensure the success of the seminar, I kindly request you to provide a list of necessary resources that the trainer may require. Additionally, it would be helpful to know what our supervisors should bring along with them to the seminar.

Please feel free to reach out to me at 802-585-8668 if you have any further questions. We are looking forward to another excellent seminar this year.

Sincerely,

Shawna Parker
Administrative Assistant

SP

***

Now that the email has been revised and the errors have been corrected, it is ready for submission.