Could you please check these sentences?
Thank you very much, Writeacher.
1) Your paragraphs show a good knowledge of the literary contents. As to the grammar, you are still unsure in the use of tenses and prepositions.
2) As to cohesion, you failed to write an introduction or a conclusion to your paragraphs and didn't link your ideas through sentence connectors.
3) Your paragraphs also contain a number of repetitions.
4)Friday's hair isn't curled like savages one. Possible corrections: it isn't as curled as that of the savages is. It isn't curled like that of a savage (a black man is possible?/that of savages.
5) His stronk legs make him resemble a European (also a European man?).
He also start a goat farm because he was running (correction: is running) out of gunpowder.
6) He also has/He has also a round face..(?)Then his nose (when adding a new physical trait I would have used "Furthermore/In addition) isn't flat like that of a negro but quite small.
Here are some suggested revisions for the sentences:
1) Your paragraphs demonstrate a good understanding of the literary content. However, there are still some uncertainties in your use of tenses and prepositions.
To improve the grammar, you may need to practice using different tenses correctly and learn the appropriate prepositions for specific situations.
2) In terms of cohesion, you have omitted an introduction and conclusion for your paragraphs, and there is a lack of sentence connectors to link your ideas together.
To enhance cohesion, ensure you include a clear introduction and conclusion, and use appropriate sentence connectors such as "moreover," "however," or "on the other hand" to establish logical connections between your ideas.
3) Your paragraphs also contain several repetitions.
To minimize repetitions, try to vary your sentence structure and use synonyms or different expressions to convey similar meanings.
4) "Friday's hair isn't curled like savages one." Possible corrections:
- "It isn't as curled as that of the savages."
- "It isn't curled like that of a savage."
- "It isn't like the hair of a savage."
In these alternative sentences, I have provided different options to address the comparison and make the sentence more clear.
5) "His stronk legs make him resemble a European." (Also a European man?)
It seems like you are inquiring if "European" refers only to men. The term "European" is a broader ethnic reference that can apply to both men and women. Therefore, "European" can refer to both European men and women.
Additionally, you mentioned, "He also start a goat farm because he was running out of gunpowder." (Correction: is running)
To correct the sentence, it should be "He is also running a goat farm because he is running out of gunpowder." This revision makes the verb tense consistent and clear.
6) You mentioned, "He also has/He has also a round face." (Then his nose...) (When adding a new physical trait, I would have used "Furthermore/In addition...)
To improve the sentence structure, you can say: "Furthermore/In addition, he has a round face. As for his nose, it is not flat like that of a Negro but rather quite small."
This revision adds the appropriate connectors and clarifies the sequence of information.
Remember, these are suggestions for revisions, and the final choice depends on the context and intended meaning.