To Tonya - re English
posted by Writeacher .
I have removed your post because you included personally identifying information, which is not a safe thing to do online.
I've saved the text of your paper in a Word file, though.
I'll get back to you soon.
Were you instructed to give titles or subtitles to each section of your paper? If so, be consistent. If not, get rid of the ones that are in there.
Your introduction is terribly boring, and I find no thesis statement.
You need to review correct subject-verb agreement. This type of error is all through your paper.
You have a major issue in not knowing (or not using) commas when you should.
I find lots of summary but little original thought on your part. What were your instructions for this paper? Your exact instructions?