I'm Writing a Discursive Essay on the topic "is it more difficult to be a young person today then it was 50years ago", I have these main points: "we have technology but its brought us media pressue" "Better education system but with more pressue to succed" "Medical Breakthrought but increased diseases" I agree that its harder being a young person today. I've used this as my introduction "Being a young Person Today is easier in some sense and harder in some sense as we may have more freedom, resources,technology but all this has come with much more responsibilities that we have to deal with" can you improve it or help me put it in a better way using my main puts.

Question

I'm Writing a Discursive Essay on the topic "is it more difficult to be a young person today then it was 50years ago", I have these main points: "we have technology but its brought us media pressue" "Better education system but with more pressue to succed" "Medical Breakthrought but increased diseases" I agree that its harder being a young person today. I've used this as my introduction "Being a young Person Today is easier in some sense and harder in some sense as we may have more freedom, resources,technology but all this has come with much more responsibilities that we have to deal with" can you improve it or help me put it in a better way using my main puts.

Answer 1

You have some good ideas.

Now you need to write a thesis sentence. I recommend you follow these suggestions.

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

Answer 2

Sure, I can help you revise your introduction. Based on your main points, here's a revised version of your introduction:

"In today's technologically advanced world, being a young person appears to provide us with numerous benefits, such as easy access to information and improved educational systems. However, when we delve deeper, we realize that these advantages come hand in hand with a plethora of challenges and responsibilities. The rapid development of technology has introduced a new vantage point for societal expectations, leading to an overwhelming media pressure that constantly surrounds us. Moreover, while the education system has improved, it now places an immense burden on young individuals for exceptional academic success. Additionally, despite significant medical breakthroughs, the prevalence of diseases has also increased in recent times. As a result, it becomes apparent that the complexities and hardships faced by young people today outweigh the advantages offered by technological advancements and education systems. Therefore, it can be argued that being a young person in the present era has become more arduous than it was fifty years ago."

Feel free to customize and adjust this introduction according to your writing style and the specific points you'd like to highlight.