So, I went in and change the sentence is this better?

Thesis Statement: Computers and cell phones have made cyber-bullying easy to hurt others and the effects it has not only on students, but also with teachers, parents and caregivers.

I think a few of the words are phrased in reverse (for example, cyber-bullying cannot be easy -- it can be easy to do, but not just easy!).

Try this:

Computers and cell phones have made it easy to hurt others in a manner now called cyber-bullying, which has devastating effects not only on students, but also for teachers, parents, and caregivers.

Or better ...

Bullies have found it easy to hurt other people by means of computers and cell phones - a practice called cyber-bullying, which has devastating effects, not only on students, but also for teachers, parents, and caregivers.

Thank you Writeacher! Now I am going to go for the rest of the out line be back soon.

Hello, I am working on my setence outline for eng102. I have a question about my assignment. It says to have thesis statement and then topic sentence. then cited support. But earlier when I was writing this out I was told that I am not suppose to cite people so does this mean something else? (cited support) This is what I have so far. Is this enough do I go on to the second paragraph?

Thesis Statement:
Bullies have found it easy to hurt other people by means of computers and cell phones - a practice called cyber-bullying, which has devastating effects, not only on students, but also for teachers, parents, and caregivers.
A. It is terrifying to see what kids do online the things they say to one another and how easy being cruel is when they are online.
1. Kids will talk about many things whether it is school work home life or the boyfriend/girlfriend. The bullying begins often when others are talking about something that may or may not have happen to another peer. It starts as a rumor and someone tells another and then another and then a bully has a reason to use the internet and find a way to make this person’s life miserable on a web page like twitter or face book.
2. It is a fact that a bully loves a place where there is no parent or teacher, or little adult supervision. bullies run free on the internet or in texts. Picking on others and being insulting and hurtful.

To determine if the revised sentence is better or not, we need to establish some criteria for evaluation. Here are a few factors to consider:

1. Clarity: Is the sentence clear and easy to understand?
2. Conciseness: Does the sentence convey the message without unnecessary words?
3. Focus: Does the sentence clearly state the main point or argument?
4. Coherence: Does the sentence flow logically and make sense within the context?
5. Grammar and Mechanics: Is the sentence grammatically correct and free of errors?

To evaluate the revised sentence, let's break it down:

- Thesis Statement: Computers and cell phones have made cyber-bullying easy to hurt others and the effects it has not only on students, but also with teachers, parents, and caregivers.

Upon analyzing the sentence based on the criteria, here are the observations:

1. Clarity: The sentence is relatively clear and conveys the main idea.
2. Conciseness: The sentence is wordy and could be made more concise.
3. Focus: The sentence appears to state a clear argument about the impact of cyberbullying on various individuals.
4. Coherence: The sentence lacks proper structure and could be rephrased for better coherence.
5. Grammar and Mechanics: The sentence has a few grammatical errors and could use improvement.

Overall, while the revised sentence conveys the main idea, it could benefit from some improvements to enhance clarity, conciseness, coherence, and grammar.