Can you proofread my writing?
Have you ever read the story, ‘Animal Farm,” by George Orwell? It’s a very important book on the traits of freedom and equality. Well, there are so many leaders and followers who characterized those traits in the story.
Leaders:
Napoleon is one of the leaders who had a behavior that ruined freedom and lowered the power of equality in the story. One example would be when he changed the commandments back and forth even though all the animals had followed it already. Another example would be that he began trading with humans when it was agreed that no animal was allowed to do that. The last example would be when he had begun killing other animals when the commandments stated that, “No animal shall kill another animal,” but instead it should have said, “No animal shall kill another animal without cause.”
Followers:
Boxer’s behavior destroyed freedom and brought equality power down in Animal Farm. Boxer is the strongest of all the animals on the farm and will not give up working for any reason. One of his mottos is, “Napoleon is always right.” The other motto is, “I will always work harder.” He followed these two mottos always to fulfillment.
As you can see, freedom and equality characterized the leader and follower, Napoleon and Boxer. These two leaders and followers fought bravely for their cause and the way in which they achieved their point of view. Orwell created diversity in his characters in the novel, Animal Farm.
You have posted a very rough draft -- far too many errors are in this to be much of anything else. Even if you think you've proofread it, you need to do so at least one more time before anyone here will deal with it.
Please go over your paper with the following in mind. Thanks to PsyDAG for the following:
... read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
(You can also either read it aloud to someone else or have someone else read it aloud to you! The latter works really well!)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other people are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
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And here are three really good websites that will help, too.
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/10/28/editing-secrets-everyone-should-know/
http://teacher.sheboyganfalls.k12.wi.us/staff/dehogue/FSSH/proof.htm
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/proofing.htm
it sucked
Sure! Here is the proofread version of your writing:
Have you ever read the story "Animal Farm" by George Orwell? It’s a very important book on the concepts of freedom and equality. In the story, there are several leaders and followers who exhibit these traits.
Leaders:
Napoleon is one of the leaders who displayed behavior that undermined freedom and diminished the power of equality in the story. One example of this is when he constantly changed the commandments, even though all the animals had already followed them. Another example is when he began trading with humans, despite the agreement that no animal was allowed to do so. The final example is when he started killing other animals, despite the commandment stating that "No animal shall kill another animal." However, it should have stated, "No animal shall kill another animal without cause."
Followers:
Boxer's behavior also undermined freedom and weakened equality on Animal Farm. As the strongest of all the animals, Boxer refused to stop working for any reason. His mottoes were "Napoleon is always right" and "I will always work harder," which he followed diligently.
As you can see, freedom and equality were defining characteristics of the leader and follower, Napoleon and Boxer. These two individuals fought bravely for their cause and achieved their perspective in different ways. Orwell created diverse characters in his novel, Animal Farm.
Sure! I can proofread your writing. Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
Have you ever read the story 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell? It's a very important book about the principles of freedom and equality. In this story, there are several leaders and followers who exemplify these traits.
Leaders:
Napoleon is one of the leaders in the story who undermines freedom and diminishes equality. One example of his behavior is when he manipulates the commandments, going back and forth despite the fact that all the animals have already followed them. Another example is when he begins trading with humans, which goes against the original agreement that no animal would do so. Finally, he starts killing other animals, even though the commandments state that "No animal shall kill another animal," although it should have said "No animal shall kill another animal without cause."
Followers:
Boxer's actions also erode freedom and weaken the power of equality on Animal Farm. Boxer is the strongest animal on the farm and never gives up working, regardless of the circumstances. One of his mottos is "Napoleon is always right," and the other is "I will always work harder." Boxer faithfully follows these two mottos.
As you can see, freedom and equality are exemplified by both the leader, Napoleon, and the follower, Boxer. These two characters fought bravely for their cause, each in their own way. Orwell effectively creates diverse characters in the novel Animal Farm.
Overall, your writing is clear and communicates your ideas well. I made some minor adjustments to improve the phrasing and grammar. Remember to always proofread your work before submitting it to catch any errors or areas for improvement.