posted by .

Could you please check these sentences, too? Thank you. (especially the description of the monster).

1) Before leaving for Ingolstadt his father gives him the journal, his mother wanted him to have on his graduation.
2) It contains blank leaves to be filled with the deeds of a noble life.
In Ingolstadt Victor combines his new-found knowledge of natural science with alchemic ideas of his old masters.
3) In a moment of inspiration he perceives the means by which inanimate materials can be imbued with life.
4) He sets about constructing a man using (or from?) various organic human parts.
5) The monster has dull, yellow, watery eyes which seem almost of the same colour as the dun-white sockets (which liken the dun-white sockets?) in which they are set. He has thin, black lips, and a shrivelled complexion.
6) His yellow skin enables to see the pulsing work of his muscles, arteries, and veins.
7) These physical traits constrast with his shiny black and flowing (I need a synonym) hair and pearly white teeth.
8) He rushes from the room and returns to his badchamber. However, he cannot get to sleep.

  • English -

    Commas needed ... again and again!! Do you still have that link?

    Also a comma or two NOT needed!

    Delete words in parentheses.

    There's a word needed in #6.

    7 - "... his long, shiny, black hair ..."

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. Can someone edit my paragraph?

    A young man prepares to graduate from college. He expects his father to buy him the car he always admired for his graduation. His father talks to him and the father tells him he loves and is proud of him. The father gives the young …
  2. English

    1. What do you usually do after school? I always go to an academy. I always go to my academy. I always go to our academy. I always go to the academy. (Which answer is right and commonly used?
  3. English

    I just want you to check my word choice. There are a few sentences I rephrased I'm not sure of.(Sentences 2.3.4). I really hope you'll help me improve my writing skills. Thank you for your help. 1) His father was a German from Bremen, …
  4. English

    1. What was your parents' dream? Mother wanted to be a nurse, and Father wanted to be an architect. 2. What were our parents' dreams?
  5. English

    Can you please check these sentences for me, please?
  6. English

    1. I have a mother, father and brother. 2. I have Mother, Father, and a brother. 3. I have mother, father, and a brother. 4. I have Mother, Father, and Brother. 5. I have my mother, my father, and my brother. 6. I have my mother, father, …
  7. English

    Could you please check these few other sentences?
  8. English

    I need you to check these sentences I have to prepare for tomorrow. 1) The film opens with Captain Robert Walton on his ship sailing north of the Arctic Ice. His ship becomes ice-bound (I need a synonym) and Walton spots a figure travelling …
  9. English

    I find it difficult to check these sentences since the punctuation is missing, the word choice is unclear and they contain grammar mistakes! I really hope you can help me. I think we need to simplify the sentences. 1) Mary Shelley's …
  10. English

    Which of the following correctly compares the reactions of the mother and father in "Loyalites?

More Similar Questions