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My task is to write a persuasive article for my chool website about an issue related to school meals.

My title is 'Unhealthy heaven'
My sub-heading is 'Those hungry humans crave for tasty foods. What will it be?'

My introduction's main point is that ' School healthy meals aren't as affective or succesful as we'd like them to be.'

Below is my introduction. Please suggest if firstly, my introduction ties in with the title and main point and sub-heading, secondly if i have used persuasive tecniques effectively and thirdly any grammatical mistakes or any additions etc.

If you had a choice between a delicious,heavenly hamburger and a vegetable sapless salad, which would you choose? We are unfortunately inclined to choose the unhealthier option as it's more tastier.

  • English -

    DON'T start any paper's first draft by writing the introduction! How can you introduce a paper that you haven't written yet?

    Follow the writing process, whether you're writing for science, history, English, or whatever:

    Prewriting: Brainstorm, research, plan, outline, thesis statement

    Writing: Write first draft by starting with section II of your outline; write the introduction after the body of the paper is written; write the conclusion last.

    Polishing: Revise, concentrating first on the body of the paper, then the intro, then the concl (revision = making sure ideas are logical and sequential and support your thesis); proofread (spelling, grammar, usage, etc.)

    Do you have a thesis yet? Have you done your brainstorming (and maybe research) yet? Have you written an outline?

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html#org
    from http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html

    http://www.angelfire.com/wi/writingprocess/

    http://www.ipl.org/div/aplus/
    Click on Step by Step for the process. Click on Info Search for help with researching.

    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
    Check in the Essay & Research Paper Level.

    Let us know.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Learn the difference between affect/effect and affective/effective and make corrections.

    Don't use "for" after "crave."

  • English -

    Thank you. It is an exam, so i am just filling in my planning grid and writing draft paragraphs.

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