can anyone please let me know my grammatical mistakes in this paragraph:-
Presently, I am pursuing diploma in medical administrative assistant from Penn Foster. Since last month I have been looking for job in administration department in a hospital, so I applied for medical administrative assistant position available at your Kaiser location in Tracy, CA. Healthcare industry has always been my goal to start as my career. I got inspired to choose this position because of some personnel experience. My dad was suffering from cancer and was admitted in hospital for one year and during this time I use to visit him daily to the hospital and I have seen how well the doctors, nurses and medical assistant had taken care of him and the administration department was also very cooperative to me. After getting such a nice treatment and care from whole medical department, I decided to make career in healthcare industry and I selected medical administrative assistant as my field. I also have 2 years of working experience as volunteer medical administrative assistant from where, I gained skills in office management, such as, data entry, reception for both walk-ins and phone inquiries, scheduling appointments, ordering supplies and other general office duties, and apart from all this I am also proficient in computers, excellent typing and multi-tasking skills. Therefore, I fell with my qualification, experience and skills this position suits best for me. I am confident that I could make a valuable contribution to the medical team by serving patients and company in a timely manner.
pursuing diploma = pursuing A diploma for
an
OR pursuing a diploma in order to be, etc.
a job in an administration department
applied for a medical, etc.
The healthcare industry
personal vs personnel (people)
I used to visit him daily in the hospital
from the whole medical department
to make my career
as a vo lunteer, etc.
I felt OR feel with my qualifications
position suits me best.
and your company
May I suggest, if you have time, to make all the corrections and repost for final proofreading.
Sra
Here are some suggested corrections for your paragraph:
Presently, I am pursuing a diploma in Medical Administrative Assistant from Penn Foster. Since last month, I have been looking for a job in the administration department of a hospital. Therefore, I applied for the Medical Administrative Assistant position available at your Kaiser location in Tracy, CA. The healthcare industry has always been the goal for my career. I was inspired to choose this position due to some personal experience. During my father's one-year battle with cancer, he was admitted to the hospital, and I visited him daily. I witnessed the exceptional care provided by the doctors, nurses, and medical assistants, as well as the great support from the administration department. After receiving such excellent treatment and care, I decided to pursue a career in the healthcare industry, specifically as a Medical Administrative Assistant. I also have two years of experience working as a volunteer Medical Administrative Assistant, where I gained valuable skills in office management, including data entry, reception for both walk-ins and phone inquiries, appointment scheduling, supply ordering, and general office duties. Additionally, I am proficient in using computers, and I have excellent typing and multi-tasking skills. Therefore, I believe that my qualifications, experience, and skills make me a strong fit for this position. I am confident that I can make a valuable contribution to your medical team by providing timely and efficient service to patients and the company.
Please note that the changes made are intended to improve grammar, clarity, and readability. It's always a good idea to proofread your writing for any other mistakes or areas of improvement.