world history

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I need to do a persuasive essay for my world history class on the Industrial Revolution and i want to know if it makes sense.

The industrial revolution changed society. Its the reason why we're in the society we are in now. Before the industrial revolution, everything was made by hand all of a sudden machines began to do everything. The industrial revolution made a lot of changes in society. Some good some bad mostly bad it was harmful to society b/c of pollution & child labor.

It began in England around 1700's. it started in England b/c they had extensive natural resources. industrialization which is the process of developing machine production.

  • world history -

    What do you want to persuade your reader to think or do?

    What is your thesis statement?

    What are your supporting arguments?

  • world history -

    I want the to persuade the reader that the industrial revolution is harmful to society.

    Thesis: ???

    Supporting arguments: air pollution,child labor!,it allowed the economy to get to what it is no, factory work was and still is difficult and dangerous,

  • world history -

    These sites explain thesis statements and why they're important.

    http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/588/01/

    http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/thesis_statement.shtml

    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/thesis.htm

    Your arguments are mostly good, but don't use the positive statement about the economy.

  • world history -

    thanks(;

  • world history -

    You're welcome.

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